"I thought I was until I stood looking it in the face."
It's plenty easy to talk about coming to terms with death when it's in the abstract. But actually getting there changes people - is one of the things known most for changing people. The media loves a good story about people who reformed after a near-death experience. If they had access to the number of people who reformed after a death-death experience, they'd eat those up, too.
"It's the same for suicides, isn't it? Most of the ones who survive the attempt talk about how they realized that they didn't actually want to die at all. And then my job gets the same from the ones who succeeded - people who stare at us in shock like I wasn't supposed to actually die when they've jumped off a building or what have you."
He knows what a fraught subject suicide is, for them. His tone isn't light and loose like it has been, as he talks about it. It's not outright saying any of the things implied by his past self as good as saying, I didn't want to not die.
"Besides, I was presented with prima facie evidence of my own desire to live, afterwards. That I don't deny it any longer is also a benefit of hindsight."
cw some discussion of suicidality
It's plenty easy to talk about coming to terms with death when it's in the abstract. But actually getting there changes people - is one of the things known most for changing people. The media loves a good story about people who reformed after a near-death experience. If they had access to the number of people who reformed after a death-death experience, they'd eat those up, too.
"It's the same for suicides, isn't it? Most of the ones who survive the attempt talk about how they realized that they didn't actually want to die at all. And then my job gets the same from the ones who succeeded - people who stare at us in shock like I wasn't supposed to actually die when they've jumped off a building or what have you."
He knows what a fraught subject suicide is, for them. His tone isn't light and loose like it has been, as he talks about it. It's not outright saying any of the things implied by his past self as good as saying, I didn't want to not die.
"Besides, I was presented with prima facie evidence of my own desire to live, afterwards. That I don't deny it any longer is also a benefit of hindsight."