My heart desires death (Second-death post) [Restricted]

[linkclickakira]

"Second death"

TW: death, gore, damaged flesh, suicide, possible panic attack in the threads

Ask first in DMs before rping.

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DEATH SCENE

Akira knew what he was doing.

This had happened before. A gun against his head and a trigger being pulled. Such simple actions, isn't it? Humanity had made it their sole birthright to use their intelligence in uprooting each other from their very bones and flesh as if their words and small actions weren't enough. Letting something wager someone's death on its other end- the sole duty of a gun and Akira had callously thrown away his life with it. As he always does. When Goro stood on the other side of the table, telling him things didn't have to turn this way if he just stayed away the moment he told him to. When he watched behind the door at the young grieving girl who blamed herself for her mother's death.

When he killed him. In anger. In frustration. In sheer fucking betrayal.

Except something was wrong.

He felt wrong.

He should have awakened to his previous picture amongst the crowds in his own world. He had a plan. He would be away from this otherworldly hell-hole and once again savour the one year he has in order to save everyone he cares about.

But then...what was this? He couldn't move. He was floating somewhere, his face facing a large gaping abyss. A sea of sorts, his chest heavy as he finds himself floating like the very particles of sand in an hourglass. His fingers weren't responding to him. He couldn't speak. He couldn't scream. What the hell went wrong here? Where is he?!

"It seems you are not enjoying the amenities of this world to the fullest, trickster," he hears a familiar voice speak but fuck it's everywhere. It's wiggling in his ears, itching into his eardrums; it's blaring through his whole body, shaking him to the very core. "I was hoping the first death would have been our last but- it certainly doesn't seem like it now."

The long-nosed man's uncanny grin looks up at the suspended floating body of Kira. A clear bullet hole at the centre of his forehead with blue gleaming from the injury's core- as if healing him from within. Regenerating back as if nothing had happened in the first place.

"What a shame."

Comments

[linkclickakira]

His head slowly starts to clear as he curls his palm around the paper and carefully places it in his side pocket. For someone who just went down an emotional rollercoaster, it seemed as if he were conscious enough to know when he needs to refer to something he will need later. Something was etched onto these papers and perhaps when he's alone, he can check this material for himself.

"Right. I am not expecting normal people to be in charge here," he shook his head as he snickers and rests his cheek on his curled up knees. Great. He feels a lot more calm now and its a bit strange just how they are having a normal conversation when that long-nosed man is just watching them from afar.

He finally settles back as he reminsces his previous interaction with a certain robot. "Yeah I think I pissed off one of the other Goros out there- this is such a shit show."

He lays back by resting the heel of his hands behind him on the blue floor, heaving a deep breath as he pinches the front of his bangs casually. "Uh...isn't a palace a good thing? He's rich or something?"

"Though boyfriend huh..." Judging from the amount of Goros, Akiras or...Rens here he could probably place two plus two together. Great. Fantastic. Just what he needs in a place such as this.

[ooc: he's not homophobic. He just hates gay people that look like him/j]

[cybermask]

She stared at him, "Do you not know what a palace is? Do you know what personas are?" oh boy, she was about to ruin his entire perception if that was true. Almost everyone here knew about that stuff anyways so it was brought up pretty often.

"Goros are easy to upset, they hold things against others," she shrugged, "don't hold it against them."

She sighed, her knees pulling up to her chest. "Goros and Rens seem to get together a lot. I think there's something that ties them together. They tend to be all focused on each other, doing everything they can," even leaving others behind, even if they try not to. She knew the day would come, she just wanted to live in her delusion for a little while longer, she didn't want to fake around them.

[linkclickakira]

"Oh yeah personas. I heard about them," he continues dumbly as he squaints at Futaba's stare. "I...also know what a palace is? Never lived in one but sheesh-" he raises both of his hands as he pshs but its obvious from his tone he's not being serious. "-I am not broke, alright? I can win multiple lotteries if I wanted to."

Well, maybe he shouldn't have mentioned that.

"Maybe I have the wrong idea about a palace here however- speaking of personas-!" he suddenly turns to look at her with a pointed look. "That Goro summoned his Robin Hood and nearly attacked me-! Even if I upsetted him he blew it way out of the proportion-!" He huffs as he folds his arms to his chest. "Of course. Never take a poor Akiras feelings seriously~" Its not like he doesn't know how his own Akechi is. He's known him since fucking forever now but it doesn't mean he can't make fun of him even in another alternate dimension.

He listens to Futaba's explanation and it only leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. His gaze flickers for a moment as his lips quiver again into a straight line but this time he has his mind in one place. He knows better than to try and act like he is a stranger to such a concept.

And of course its Ren with Goros.

Not Akira.

No wonder he hates that name.

Not like anyone knows just how much fate was a bitch to them. To him. To his Goro.

"Sooo what I am hearing is you play third wheel a lot," he continues casually. "That's very encouraging." There's a slow nod as he thinks about Dove and his Ren. "But I guess I understand what you mean by focusing on each other. Me and Go-" he stops, his insides curling unpleasantly as he finally huffs again and forces himself to pull his legs away from his chest.

"You want to ditch this place?" He suddenly asks. "Or trash it? I am down for both."

[cybermask]

She laughed, "No palaces are ruled by shadows and people's darkest desires. Maybe you should win the lottery ever tried it?"

Someone summoned a persona on him. Who did he piss off? Poor guy didn't even know much and got nearly got spawn killed. He'll be okay eventually. Who ever was pissed off will get over it, in due time.

"I do," she answers honestly. Seemed Akira has something going on with his Goro too, but she wasn't high enough level to access that information yet. She had a feeling it had to deal with the time travel, like Crane.

"While we can't trash the velvet room, I do know we can trash several other locations. Like the diet building." she grinned. She leaned back before rocking back onto her feet.

[linkclickakira]

"Eh...I suppose I could try it now," he says eventhough he's won the lottery multiple times in his own universe. In all honesty he doesn't even know what to say on the topic of palaces and shadows. All he's hearing is videogame mumbo jumbo and now he's even more psyched to explore whatever she meant by it. Maybe he should start with going back to this Mementos or the Midnight Channel in Inaba. Sounds like a good place to start as any. "Actually I have no idea what to do around here so I will just experiment around."

Its then Futaba mentions something so magnificent he's already up on his feet now- one hand slipping in his pocket to check the papers once more before there are true sparkles in his grey eyes. He wipes at them once more just to get rid of the grime and dirt from his tears as he turns to look at the girl with a grin on his face. "You can't be- oh my god." This is so ridiculous but maybe this is what he needs right now. He doesn't know how would two people be able to pull it off but she did mention the fact that they have blown up buildings before.

Its not as if his life isn't already a big joke right now.

"Are we thinking dynamite? AK-47s? A missile-!? Maybe we could demolish it."

[cybermask]

That certainly cheered him up. She couldn't help but laugh. "I'm entirely serious, I'm sure we wouldn't even be the first." She shrugged. She stretched her hands up above her head.

"We have demolished a building before, though I'm not sure how it was done. building rebuild themselves, so we can do any option you'd prefer." It would be something to keep her mind busy too after all. "The hard part is getting the supplies, but who would I be if I didn't know dealers." She winked.

[linkclickakira]

"Pfft, great." He rolls his eyes at her statement. He's never pulling a first here for some reason but then again if there are multiple others who think the same way he does- he shouldn't be so surprised. "We can do better than the first timers."

He tends to his left shoulder with his right and lets his arm roll a little. He's...still not feeling too well about the fact that he's stuck here but the company he's in is making his thoughts a little bearable. Even for a little bit but once its all over then what? What if Igor is lying to him (which wouldn't be as much of a surprise) and the rest of the world continues to live on into the very future while he's still stuck here. In the past.

There's a slow grin on his face as he snickers at her wink. "I would be disappointed if you didn't." Its Futaba Sakura after all. Of course she knew people. "Be careful with the shady ones though, alright?" He adds as he finally straightens up and grabs another paper from the floor- crumpling it into a ball and throws it at Igor.

It flies across and stops right before Igor's forehead. His eyes widen as it floats in air, a ripple follows and then it flops down on the table.

"Changing or demolishing objects will simply bring them back to their restored state. That's the true nature of this room and this world."

"Ugh," Akira groans as he turns to Futaba and points at Igor with a mocking expression on his face. "He seriously talks like an NPC."

"Anyways let's get out of here first. I will probably crash at home first the uh- revival process isn't pretty."

[cybermask]

She smiles, he was fun. That was better than what she’s been doing. It was better than wandering too. He was a bit like Ren, she could see them reflected in each other. It hurt her a little, but she pushed those feelings down.

“He really does,” She walked over to the door, “This is our door, if you are serious about heading home while I get the materials. I’ll text you?” She offers, she never imagined respawning was much fun but she didn’t see it first hand until now and she would prefer to not see it again.

She started putting together a plan on how to deal with the building and get the supplies there. Maybe she could avoid people for a while, maybe she could avoid home for a while.

[linkclickakira]

He places his hands in his pockets, takes one last feel of the papers he just stole before wordlessly following behind her. In any other context, at any other location or perhaps in another universe he may have stopped and asked himself if he's eaten enough and his brain is truly working at its peak capacity (as its intended anyway) but right now nothing doesn't seem to matter anymore. There's people here, sure, people who can keep him hanging off the edge of sanity and the total vast emptiness as he considers the time he has now. He needs time for himself. Alone.

"Shit- yeah, we are doing this so its better we are both at our 100% when we do it, right?" He answers. "I can probably arrange something on my own too."

Akira hums as he brings up his palm and lets it hover in the gaping darkness enveloped within the frames of the door. "Cool..." He's honestly a bit mesmerized at just how magic manifested in a place like this. "You know the funniest part? I feel like I am the younger sibling between us right now," he laughs as he, as a completely natural gesture, brings his hand to her head and ruffles her bangs a little. "We need to change that. I won't be able to live in peace if you managed to one up me."

Better think about the way you see people, Kira, before you think yourself better than them.

Akira's gaze flickers, Falcon's haughty stare appearing then vanquising just the same, as he pulls his hand away from her hair. "Sorry, force of habit." He quickly brings his hand over and pushes away a bang away from her eyes to let it curl on the side. "Well- even my Futaba got mad when I did it but-"

"Eurgh. Yeah." He sputters as his palm gestures wildly. How does he go about explaining all of the multiverse bullshit to her? He makes a circling gesture on the side of his forehead. "Wow- purge that from your memory. All of it."

[cybermask]

I feel like I am the younger sibling between us right now. That repeated a few times in her head, ah maybe that's just how she's viewed, maybe that's why it was so easy to have someone else by their side. A sister is just a sister after all.

She was pulled out of her thoughts with a hand on her head, her bangs being messed with she blinked quickly as she tried to figure out what was happening. "Force of habit..." she mumbled under her breath.

"I don't think I'll purge it, be haunted by the fact I will always know," she taunted.

[linkclickakira]

Akira was never the type to show off his flaws of flusterings to other people. A sputtering phrase? Well, in those cases he genuinely did get the habit of going back in time and properly consider the next thing he wants to say if he had a picture available. Now he's just stuck here, watching as Futaba decides to take things even further as she taunted him.
He grows quiet as he stares at her for a good amount of time, not exactly surprised by her words. His expression grows completely stoic before the corner of his lips perks up as he suddenly shoots out his hand to once again mess up her hair.

He's not planning to do it, just messing with her.

[cybermask]

She studied him as he reacted, it was always a good idea when met with someone new, no matter how similar they were to someone else you know. Or if they were the same person.

His lip came up and she was instantly aware of intent. His hand raised and she stepped back and ducked, not this time, Akira.

[linkclickakira]

"Ha-!" He chuckled as Futaba ducked, now poking her on the forehead this time which landed true to its mark unlike his previous action which she successfully ducked. "There. Its all purged now. You don't remember a thing~"

"Okay alright- that's enough distraction from my end," he shakes his head as he sighs and looks away for a moment. His eyes remain on the velvet room, his grin falling to a flat line as grief overcomes him. Akechi. He's not here. He's gone.

Possibly for as long as he's going to be here.

He does try to keep his smile adamant just in case Futaba is watching. "Just being serious here," he gulps as he looks forward at the velvet door that will lead him back to the real world. "Thank you. For checking in on me, I mean." He just hopes his powers don't curse her since she's one of the few people who somewhat know how they work. "I should be alright from here- just need a little time." He stops, his gaze flinching as he finds himself staring down at his camera. "Well, its not like I am gonna run out of it either now. Atleast for a while."

[cybermask]

He was playful, but he could become serious on a moment's dime, that was something she'd have to get used to. It seemed to be a trait that several of them shared, but she'd never guess who had what.

"Don't worry over it. You looked stressed and in pain. Everyone adjusts over time. It just takes some longer than others," she glances away, "don't lose hope about whatever you are missing. Time pauses back home. You aren't missing anything." She meets his eyes with a sad smile, one she can't even make her pretended joy, her masked sadness coming almost fully to light. "If the past is anything to go off of, he'll probably show up here in the future, if it be a year later, or less."

[linkclickakira]

Everyone says that he's not missing anything. He's just on a vacation without his own consent and he should stop worrying about it but- how do they know that? Igor could be lying to all of them so that none of them panic. "..." he hums though he doesn't sound too convinced. Honestly, Futaba herself doesn't look like she's happy about the arrangements either. As much as it did dishearten him, it was better than lying to him outright.

If the past is anything to go off of, he'll probably show up here in the future.

Akira's eyes widen behind his glasses as he looks at her like she was the one who shot herself in front of him. Would he...want that? Would he want to be with Goro- after everything that had happened. After all the times he failed him? "D-Don't."

"Don't give me that hope, please. He's- he could come from any timeline. If he knows what I did in them he would-"

He presses the back of his hand to his mouth before cupping the sight of his cheek. Shut up. Shut up. He doesn't need this right now. Not in front of her (she's seen enough of it). Not in front of Igor who's simply going to grin and pretend like he gives a shit. "Oh wow- look at me ramble like that-! I just need to sleep it off really then we need to demolish a building."

[cybermask]

She sighed, then placed a hand on his shoulder. "Akira, it'll be okay," she said softly. She gave him a smile then squeezed her hand and stepped back, "go nap, I'll take care of gathering the equipment."

She couldn't think of what he was thinking she couldn't imagine it. She did know that this was going to be a way to get some things off her chest and that was going to be what kept her going for now.

[linkclickakira]

"I am good," he answers in return to her consoling. He's doing amazing, actually- he's just never had the chance to think through about his actions. Always planning ahead, always miscontruing the past to the point that it was mutiliated to a shell of his true timeline...his shoulders hunch when she steps away. His jaw tightens as he finally decides to let go of this place as a whole- he's never coming back to the velvet room. Never again.

Not until he's back home.

"Don't go bald from worrying, alright?" He playfully replies as he winks at her again. Its about damn time they left. He reaches forward for the door knob and twists it- letting the gaping blue void welcome him as the two of them finally depart from their messy first meeting. He doesn't know how much value an ally holds here just yet or does it even matter if he has friends here or not. He doesn't know if he wants something like that anyway.

Mostly, he's worked alone after all.

Not that it matters anymore. Might as well spend the rest of the time grieving in his room- if it even exists.

What a shitshow.

=====

Once he's alone in his room, blankets draped over his head as he finds himself balling into a caccoon- he finds himself staring at his gallery. Emptily. Photos of him and his Akechi. Times when things weren't so complicated...he feels like a failure. He glances down at his shirt- biting the inside of his cheek before unbotting the first two buttons to glance down at the ring now hanging off from a silver chain around his neck. He clutches it carefully, rubbing his eyes once as he releases a shaky sigh and pulls himself together.

He finally goes for his pocket and unfurls the poorly wrinkled paper.

There are names.

Names of all the inhabitants here so far with their attached worldly numbers and locations. A significant amount of Akechis and Rens- less than half a dozen Akiras and some others he doesn't recognize or were his friend at some point. God- Haru...Futaba...Ann...Ryuji- so many others he never really got close too after the first few timelines.

Its only when he carefully stares at it- does he notice the lower portion of the paper fading away.

His eyes widen in panic as he goes for his phone and takes a quick few snapshots of the piece of paper. "What the hell.." he watches the record curl in or itself before extinguishing into tiny bits.

Fucking Igor thought he got him.

He snickers as he looks at the pictures, confirming once that they haven't disappeared yet. Enough sulking, he should probably distract himself in some way, right?

Pancakes...