October 4th

[vessel_ken_amada]

[CW: death]


It was a day where Ken was nowhere to be seen. Not in his room, the house, his old room, or anywhere he usually was. His phone was off, too. It may have seemed like he completely disappeared, had he not told Raven quickly before leaving that he'd be busy all day - just for the sake of not having a search party for him.

Someone going in that shady spot behind the Tatsumi Port Island station, however, would find him. He was there the whole day, just standing in the middle, not moving, seeming almost lifeless, his gaze lost in the void.

It was October 4th.

The day where she died.

The day where she was brutally murdered.

A scream. Sickly green hues. A giant monster suddenly appearing. Everything breaking apart. Rubble everywhere. She was shouting at him, pushing away, saving him. Blood. Terror.

...

...

Will someone approach him?

Comments

[fogbornphantom]

"My brother told me a long time ago." He gazes up at the surrounding buildings. "A rampaging Persona, right? But the authorities didn't believe you."

[vessel_ken_amada]

"...'rampaging'. Right."

He turned to face Crow again, anger and tears in his eyes.

"He summoned it right there."

[fogbornphantom]

"He did." Crow won't deny that, that wouldn't be fair. "...I know more about the circumstances. Would you like to know? I don't want to overstep."

[vessel_ken_amada]

"...The circumstances? What do you mean by 'circumstances'?"

He starts shouting.

"He murdered her and almost killed me! And no one is doing anything about it! What kind of 'circumstances' can there be? Are you trying to excuse my mother's murderer?"

He then blanches, realizing something.

"...wait. Do you mean you know who he is?"

[fogbornphantom]

"I'm not trying to excuse anything. Regardless of how little control he had over his Persona, the damage was dealt. You lost someone dear to you and have only suffered since."

Damn it. Has he said too much? Crow shuts his eyes, breathing in deeply. "I do know. He was dead by the time I met my brother, however."

[vessel_ken_amada]

"You're doing it right now! Making it sound like it was just some kind of... of... of unfortunate accident!" he screamed, tears running down.

"He was right there, he chose that spot, it demolished everything, there were screams, he didn't stop, he- he-"

Wait, what did Crow just say? He knows. He does know.

"So you know," he almost whispers.

[fogbornphantom]

"Yes." He takes another breath. What should he do? He's already misstepped. This is a day of deep grief and trauma for Ken. His pain deserves acknowledgement, but one wrong move, and it could have catastrophic consequences.

"I'm sorry. I truly don't mean to downplay your pain, Ken. I know what it's like, to carry that pain with you. To yearn for the downfall of the one who caused it. To feel as though it's the only way forward..."

He crouches down, resting a supportive hand on Ken's shoulder. "If I tell you, what will you do?"

[vessel_ken_amada]

He brushes Crow's hand away. He then speaks in a trembling voice.

"You knew this whole time... and you haven't said anything. You were protecting him. Why???"

[fogbornphantom]

"I didn't know how to breach the subject. It wasn't that I deliberately hid anything from you. I just..."

Damn it all.

"From what I understand, the event devastated him so much that he began taking Persona suppressing drugs to avoid history repeating itself. Drugs that slowly destroyed his body. He was going to die, slowly and painfully, even before his murder. My brother told me as much."

But that's not a name. It's not an answer.

"But if you want answers, then you'll want to speak to Shinjiro Aragaki. Just... keep in mind, he is not the one from your world."

[vessel_ken_amada]

Ken is barely listening.

"...Aragaki-san?"

He had met Aragaki before, who had seemed to weirdly know him. Had the answer truly been under his nose all this time...?

Ken is badly shaking, and blood starts to come out from his mouth.

[fogbornphantom]

"Ken!" Crow reaches for both his shoulders this time. The blood is a terrible sign. "Listen to me... You aren't alone. You have so many people here who care about you. Raven, Ren, Wagtail, and so many others... They're worried about you. I'm worried, too."

Not that he expects this to work. Not today of all days. "If you need to speak to Aragaki-san, then do so. You deserve answers. Your other self may also have the answers you seek."

[vessel_ken_amada]

He is, unfortunately, not listening. His head is spinning, he barely understands what's going on. He didn't expect to learn the identity of his mother's murderer like this, per chance, after two years of searching in vain.

Now... all he needed to do was to get back home, wasn't it? He finally knew. What had unnecessarily delayed his plan, prolonged his life, his suffering, had come to a close.

...

[fogbornphantom]

"Ken..." Screw it. He's pulling Ken into a hug. Is this risky? Yes, but some risks are worth taking. "You shouldn't have to face this alone."

[vessel_ken_amada]

Ken pushes Crow away. Hugs were not welcome right at this moment.

"Crow-san... I know you mean well. You always do. But there are things you just don't understand."

[fogbornphantom]

"I know." He's not Ken. He wasn't there. Hearing about things in retrospect is so different. "But if you talk to the people close to you, they might come a little closer to understanding. Then you wouldn't have to carry your burdens alone."

[vessel_ken_amada]

Ken sighs.

"...you really don't understand, Crow-san. You're just seeing things that are wrong with other people as 'burdens', but sometimes... it's not just that."

[fogbornphantom]

"Then what is it?" It's only fair for Ken to speak for himself. People aren't infallible, after all.

[vessel_ken_amada]

"It's..."

Damn it. He's trying so hard to not crumble in front of Crow, but... he can't. He just can't. It was way too much to take in. His world had just crumbled. How could he have a conversation in such conditions???

He disappears.