Kou despises it with all his might, tries to glare- but he can't. He can't. Wrung out like a dirty dishrag, both emotionally and physically, all he can do is sit there, stewing in his own misery over a trashcan, waiting for another wave to come. He tries to swallow the horrid taste out of his mouth. Ugh. He's pretty sure there's some in his nose, too. He fucking hates this.
But no more comes, and carefully, he lets himself fall on his ass, exhaling. He wants to scream. Or maybe he wants to sleep until all this blows over, and they can pretend this never happened.
"... Some water would be nice," he mutters, wrinkling his nose as he gets a look at the contents of the trashcan. Ugh, what a nasty mess.
Weakling. You've seen and done so much worse.
He hates that Kira can see him like this. Hates it, hates it, hates-
It's the only thing he can do to keep him from fully breaking down, from bursting into tears and screaming for a brother who'll never come. This is bad enough already. (Only Goro- only Goro ever got to see him like that, was allowed, trusted with it- and Goro's not here anymore.)
He needs to pull himself together. He needs to leave. He needs to get home and- he doesn't know. Sleep this off. Break down in the privacy of his own bedroom. Not in front of Kira- Kira, who already saw him at his lowest, who saw some of his worst nightmares- and he some of Kira's, in turn.
What a pitiful fucking duo they are. He almost wants to laugh.
"... I'll clean it up," he says, rising to his feet. He still feels horribly unmoored, wavering a little.
Re: CW: vomit
Kou despises it with all his might, tries to glare- but he can't. He can't. Wrung out like a dirty dishrag, both emotionally and physically, all he can do is sit there, stewing in his own misery over a trashcan, waiting for another wave to come. He tries to swallow the horrid taste out of his mouth. Ugh. He's pretty sure there's some in his nose, too. He fucking hates this.
But no more comes, and carefully, he lets himself fall on his ass, exhaling. He wants to scream. Or maybe he wants to sleep until all this blows over, and they can pretend this never happened.
"... Some water would be nice," he mutters, wrinkling his nose as he gets a look at the contents of the trashcan. Ugh, what a nasty mess.
Weakling. You've seen and done so much worse.
He hates that Kira can see him like this. Hates it, hates it, hates-
It's the only thing he can do to keep him from fully breaking down, from bursting into tears and screaming for a brother who'll never come. This is bad enough already. (Only Goro- only Goro ever got to see him like that, was allowed, trusted with it- and Goro's not here anymore.)
He needs to pull himself together. He needs to leave. He needs to get home and- he doesn't know. Sleep this off. Break down in the privacy of his own bedroom. Not in front of Kira- Kira, who already saw him at his lowest, who saw some of his worst nightmares- and he some of Kira's, in turn.
What a pitiful fucking duo they are. He almost wants to laugh.
"... I'll clean it up," he says, rising to his feet. He still feels horribly unmoored, wavering a little.