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... ... ... ... ?

What is...?

I shouldn't... be awake...

[In the Velvet Room...]

[It's courteous of whatever's going on with Igor's plan here that Hamuko is dressed. She probably shouldn't even have a body... whatever she has going on now... did her body fall comatose without her? Did it die? If it was alive, she surely should be much older. ... ... ... Maybe that all doesn't really matter, right now. She's here, gifted a chance to be around others again. The pinboard catches her attention first, of course. Signs of other people... so many little notes, talking about multiple versions of the same person running around. That's... that's charming... that's fun. ...Even if the notes about Ken Amadas make her sad...]

Hmm... I don't see any other 'me' off the bat...

[She'll take a few minutes once given a pen and some pink paper to doodle a little version of herself, signed with her name and phone number, and add it to the corner of the pinboard.]

[Inaba, Central Shopping District]

[What a fun little town! A charming place... hey, isn't this the town she went to for the volleyball camp? She loved the accommodations, but it's so nice to actually wander the streets and see the little shops. This place is SO rural, Hamuko had never really visited a place this remote, even when jumping between foster homes.] Let's see... what's the good spot for the locals? [No point being a complete tourist shmuck!!]

[Shibuya, Underground Mall]

[Well, since nothing costs anything here... might as well get some cute new clothes, right? Who knows how long she'll be around here, and 'dreaming up' new outfits didn't seem to be a thing. No lucid dreaming here - somehow, Hamuko felt a lot happier with that in mind. Still... the fashion is so different!!]

I just want one cute orange top...!! Is orange out of style? Dang it...

[Iwatodai Dorms]

[Of all of the places she's been having fun goofing off and exploring in, the dorms... she couldn't quite get the courage to open the front. Not just yet.]

Not even Koromaru is out front right now. ...I've gotta apologize...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I bet!! Going all in on just one or two very important things is admirable. Dedication and drive are amazing. Heheh, I'm more of a 'jack of all trades' kind, rather than focused in on any one thing... I don't want to waste any opportunities I can to try something new."

"I think... that might be a more well-rounded way to do things. I've been doing gymnastics since I was four. I don't really know where I'd start, if I quit, because it's taken up so much of my time." And her sister's shadow is still somewhat hanging over everything, but that's why she's at least trying to qualify for the next meet, back home.

This one, she'll be doing as herself, not as Kasumi.

"Well... find someone you want to spend time with, and try something new with them! That's how I ended up getting tangled in so many clubs. ...I'm really social so of course, you should go at a pace that's right for you. But anything is way less daunting to try out for the first time when you're trying with someone you're making friends with."

"Well, I do have some new friends back home, and only a couple of them are really athletic." All of them get a bit more exercise than your average teenager, thanks to the Phantom Thieves business, but not all of them are athletes. "I can probably figure out something from there. I'm sure Futaba-senpai is itching to introduce me to a video game or two, at the very least."

"I keep meaning to play more games than just arcade games! I'll have to give it a shot sometime, too. I'm not sure what I'll do here just yet aside from run around and explore... settling in comes first, I guess!"

"Run around, explore, have something weird happen during a holiday, wait for someone's personal crisis to explode in a way that probably involves doing Persona things about it..."

You know. The usual.

"Well, as long as it's personal things and not 'god of death' things, I think we'll be okay..." Hamuko laughed a little tiredly.

...It isn't not 'god of death' things, but Sumire doesn't know much about that, so she'll let someone else crack open that can of worms.

"From what I've gathered, there's been surprisingly little interpersonal conflict, especially with so many of Akechi-san here. I don't know him well back home yet, but well enough to know he can be... a little volatile. There are some people who don't think highly of Igor-san for basically trapping us all here, too."

"Igor? ...Hmm... no... I think Igor means well. He's mysterious, for sure, but... I think, in the end, he's on the side of people," Hamuko hummed in thought.

"...I guess I could be biased. I'm only able to see anyone because Igor could bring me here. And he helped a lot in my last year..."

At this point, Sumire can't ignore the clues any longer. "You - I'm sorry if this is a rude question, but did your group's mission... end badly?"

"Ehm, well... we succeeded! We won. It just sort of..." Hamuko trailed off, making an awkward so-so gesture with her hand. "...Required a soul to create a Seal. So I haven't been alive for a while."

"Oh. I - I see. I'm sorry."

(Hamuko may be getting the impression that Sumire apologises too much, and she'd be correct. But to be fair, what do you say when someone tells you they're technically dead?)

"No, you don't have to be sorry! I mean... I'm glad I did what I did. I chose that fate and... everyone is living and doing their best. That's what I wanted to protect, more than anything. And now, Igor's been kind enough to pull the strings to let me be here, and meet everyone - maybe even say hi again to old friends. I'm genuinely so happy."

"Well, if you find value in it, that's good. It still seems like a lot to ask of a high-schooler, though, but... what that we're all dealing with isn't?"

I chooseth this fate of mine own free will...

Honestly, that just makes her think of Akinari... Ryoji... anyone that might've been taken too soon.

"Maybe it is. There was one adult that was helping us out, but... unfortunately it was prior generations that'd gotten everyone into such a bad mess in the first place. I think... yes, sometimes life can be cruel and unfair. Fate can be unkind, or callous, whichever is scarier... but even with a bad fate, even with such limited time, the way you spend that time and share it with those you love can make it all worthwhile. Even if someone's life ends too soon, they live on in you, as part of your memories and the impact they had on your life. That's an afterlife that isn't so bad, I think..."

We didn't kill her. Kasumi thought we were worth dying for.

Sumire falls silent for a while, fiddling with the hem of her skirt. Maybe this is something she needed to hear, all things considered, just like she needed to hear Akechi-san giving her permission to resent Kasumi if that's how she feels. (And it is, but she loves her, and wanted her to like her too, wanted her to actually pay attention, wanted--)

"What if. What if someone gives you their time?"

"Well... there's a lot of ways to feel about it, I think. One thing I think is... I owe my friends an apology, for disappearing like I did. We all wanted to live and see our futures together, and I had to break that promise," Hamuko admitted softly, drawing her knees up and hugging them, twiddling her thumbs.

"Even if I'd do it again, and again, and again, because it's the right thing... I still want them to know that I never wanted to leave them. And it's okay if they're sad or mad about it. I just want to give them the chance to keep going."

Part of Sumire wants to make her excuses and run the hell away from this conversation. But she can't. For one thing, if Hamuko is friends with Aragaki-san, she'll probably be staying here, which means they'd end up having it sooner or later anyway. For another... the whole point of going into her own Palace was facing the truth, so she can't start running away again.

We'll reach the top of the world together.

"The worst part is that I didn't even want a chance to keep going. I just... Kasumi was always so much better at everything, and I finally lost my patience with it. I just wanted her to understand and I thought she never would, and now she really never will. Because - because she saw something in me that I don't know how to see in myself."

Hamuko nodded, showing that she had heard and listened... though she took a moment to really think. It wasn't... a foreign feeling, to Hamuko, either...

Finding self worth, and confidence... well, Fuuka did end up finding hers, in a different context.

"Maybe it would help to think about it from a different angle, then, maybe. You won't be able to know Kasumi's feelings, anymore, but... she can't be the only person to see your good traits. Maybe trying new things, talking to a few new people for new perspectives...? Not to find an answer... but to help brainstorm ideas for what you're trying to look for, for yourself."

"Maybe. Most of my friends never met her, at the very least, so I can't say they're only hanging around me because of her." If anything, Kasumi's friends are still very annoyed with Sumire, though she did at least apologise for everything she put them through.

"I - did a very thorough job of running from my problems for a while. If you saw any of the notes about 'actualised people' on the board in the Velvet Room, that happened to me, but my friends helped me break out of it before I got here. Someone took me at my word when I said my life was worthless unless I could be Kasumi, and he slapped a bandage on my mind and called it good. Midnight-san... still firmly believes she is Kasumi, and is resisting every attempt anyone makes to tell her otherwise. I can't blame her for wanting to run from the truth, but I spent six months not moving on because I couldn't think about it clearly."

"...That's... disturbing. The notes made it sound like only one or two people were responsible for it, but the idea of one person getting that much power is..."

...Scary. Distressing. ...

"...I think you should be proud of yourself for moving forward."

"I'm... trying to be. It was easy to say I wanted to try, in the heat of the moment, surrounded by friends. Then I had to get up the next morning and actually do it. Futaba-senpai calls it the Survive To The Next Day Challenge."

It is not as easy as it sounds, and is one of the reasons Sumire wanted to stay somewhere with other people around.

"There is only one person who ends up with that particular kind of power, as far as I know. It's just that the multiple-timelines thing means there are multiple versions of him that people here have dealt with, with different results. I think there's only the one of him here right now, and... I certainly hope he's not trying to do that to people. He does genuinely want to help people feel better, but it's a 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions' situation."

Hamuko nods, taking in the stuff about the powerful person... but the former comment lands more pertinently.

"Survive To The Next Day Challenge, huh... I remember that, too..." Hamuko admitted softly, quietly. "I didn't really tell anyone, though. Instead I'd go... 'well, I still need to go help someone with studying tomorrow'... 'oh, someone's counting on me to go with them to that thing they're scared of going to'..."

So much of that was well before SEES, even... well before her Persona. Having that Persona gave a little more direction, but the real difference...

"... Life is... the best it can be when you connect and bond with other people. I know I sound like a broken record, but... I really mean it. A friendship, a classmate you get to know, some drunk monk rambling at you, going on walks with a dog... there's a lot of love and joy you can get from things like that."

"How did you even meet a drunk monk?"

"Went into a night club I wasn't supposed to!"

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cw: Sumi Depression Hours

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