Hamuko Arisato (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wipingallout) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
personavelvetroomdr2025-01-30 04:41 pm
wipingallout) wrote in personavelvetroomdr2025-01-30 04:41 pm
Entry tags:
🌒 [Open]
... ... ... ... ?
What is...?
I shouldn't... be awake...
[In the Velvet Room...]
[It's courteous of whatever's going on with Igor's plan here that Hamuko is dressed. She probably shouldn't even have a body... whatever she has going on now... did her body fall comatose without her? Did it die? If it was alive, she surely should be much older. ... ... ... Maybe that all doesn't really matter, right now. She's here, gifted a chance to be around others again. The pinboard catches her attention first, of course. Signs of other people... so many little notes, talking about multiple versions of the same person running around. That's... that's charming... that's fun. ...Even if the notes about Ken Amadas make her sad...]
Hmm... I don't see any other 'me' off the bat...
[She'll take a few minutes once given a pen and some pink paper to doodle a little version of herself, signed with her name and phone number, and add it to the corner of the pinboard.]
[Inaba, Central Shopping District]
[What a fun little town! A charming place... hey, isn't this the town she went to for the volleyball camp? She loved the accommodations, but it's so nice to actually wander the streets and see the little shops. This place is SO rural, Hamuko had never really visited a place this remote, even when jumping between foster homes.] Let's see... what's the good spot for the locals? [No point being a complete tourist shmuck!!]
[Shibuya, Underground Mall]
[Well, since nothing costs anything here... might as well get some cute new clothes, right? Who knows how long she'll be around here, and 'dreaming up' new outfits didn't seem to be a thing. No lucid dreaming here - somehow, Hamuko felt a lot happier with that in mind. Still... the fashion is so different!!]
I just want one cute orange top...!! Is orange out of style? Dang it...
[Iwatodai Dorms]
[Of all of the places she's been having fun goofing off and exploring in, the dorms... she couldn't quite get the courage to open the front. Not just yet.]
Not even Koromaru is out front right now. ...I've gotta apologize...
What is...?
I shouldn't... be awake...
[In the Velvet Room...]
[It's courteous of whatever's going on with Igor's plan here that Hamuko is dressed. She probably shouldn't even have a body... whatever she has going on now... did her body fall comatose without her? Did it die? If it was alive, she surely should be much older. ... ... ... Maybe that all doesn't really matter, right now. She's here, gifted a chance to be around others again. The pinboard catches her attention first, of course. Signs of other people... so many little notes, talking about multiple versions of the same person running around. That's... that's charming... that's fun. ...Even if the notes about Ken Amadas make her sad...]
Hmm... I don't see any other 'me' off the bat...
[She'll take a few minutes once given a pen and some pink paper to doodle a little version of herself, signed with her name and phone number, and add it to the corner of the pinboard.]
[Inaba, Central Shopping District]
[What a fun little town! A charming place... hey, isn't this the town she went to for the volleyball camp? She loved the accommodations, but it's so nice to actually wander the streets and see the little shops. This place is SO rural, Hamuko had never really visited a place this remote, even when jumping between foster homes.] Let's see... what's the good spot for the locals? [No point being a complete tourist shmuck!!]
[Shibuya, Underground Mall]
[Well, since nothing costs anything here... might as well get some cute new clothes, right? Who knows how long she'll be around here, and 'dreaming up' new outfits didn't seem to be a thing. No lucid dreaming here - somehow, Hamuko felt a lot happier with that in mind. Still... the fashion is so different!!]
I just want one cute orange top...!! Is orange out of style? Dang it...
[Iwatodai Dorms]
[Of all of the places she's been having fun goofing off and exploring in, the dorms... she couldn't quite get the courage to open the front. Not just yet.]
Not even Koromaru is out front right now. ...I've gotta apologize...
no subject
Does Death feel like that?
What did Thanatos feel like? Huh... what did Death feel like inside of her, for all of her life?
"...There's... a certainty, I think. More than anything, the most consistent feeling that I get from Death is certainty. There's been a... lot of different feelings associated with it. Like," she paused, gesturing to the forest around them, "this I have absolutely felt. My resolve aside, I felt all of these feelings when I realized what I had to do in order to stop Nyx. I had to do it, I had to carry that burden and hide it far, far away from everyone else, to keep them safe. ...If I'm reading this place right."
She trailed off for a bit, resting the end of the naginata between stones.
"I feel a lot of... love... from this place. Sadness, yes, but... you don't carry a burden like this if you don't deeply love the world you're leaving behind."
no subject
That was a clear cut statement. Death was unfortunately, too certain. Too simple. A life extinguishes as the birds continue to sing, the skies don't thunder when all you are left with is staring at a gravestone.
"In a way Thanatos's presence serves as a reminder of your decision," he nods but doesn't particularly write anything on the clipboard. This isn't really a counselling session after all. Still, a young woman such as herself shouldn't be talking like that. To follow through with fate and seal away Nyx, leaving everything behind in the process.
"Love."
"One of the most curious human emotions that makes any research fall short. Its an easy answer to turn to but never one you could ever explain," he folds his arms to his chest. "Perhaps her sadness does come from the fact that she had to leave the world behind. I would only feel cruelty from a place such as this if I were to traverse this path alone."
"Anyways, this might be a silly request but..." he regards Hamuko carefully before gesturing at the evoker held in her hand. "Can I meet Thanatos again? Can I...touch it, if that makes sense?" The questions ends off in an awkward chuckle. "I am just wondering how it all feels like."
no subject
"Summon him to just be looked at, huh?" she repeated the request, if not verbatim. "I've never summoned my Personas outside of battle," she added, though she pulled her evoker from its holster and held it against her chest anyway. She closed her eyes, trying to imagine it.
She's there, standing, for a few moments. Eyes closed, keeping her focus. Eventually, she even murmurs aloud.
"Thanatos... I won't ask you for a fight. Just to be... I think we can do that, can't we?"
As she spoke, she leaned down and set the naginata on the ground, further distancing them from a 'fight mode'. Hamuko took a few slow, deep breaths, pressing the evoker's muzzle to her temple. Calm... calm any adrenaline - even if that's exactly what the evoker is designed to do, to make your heart race and make you feel like you're about to die.
Instead she embraced a different feeling about death. That feeling of... gently falling into it.
Hamuko doesn't even realize that for a split second before the trigger is even pulled, the shadow of her Persona is already forming - the explosion of the evoker just hastens the beast's formation.
This time, Thanatos did not form with sword drawn - a massive hand wrapped around Hamuko in a fiercely possessive gesture, the other arm slamming forward on the ground so the avatar of Death was growling and curled over its host like a protective mother. Immediately, Hamuko's hand shot up and she grabbed the lower jaw on Thanatos' mask, yanking it back. The sharpness of it cut into her fingers and made them bleed, but she stayed calm, and the single movement to reprimand pulled the Persona back and make it stop hollowly growling. After a moment of Hamuko herself gauging the situation, she gave Maruki a nod.
TW: anxiety type skin crawling (1/2)
He didn't exactly know how to expand upon that question when Hamuko seemed to be going through her own ordeal so he let her go at it with her own pace. Even when she speaks to Thanatos, there is this quiet understanding that makes Maruki wonder if that's what true harmony felt. With your own self.
Despite being rather used to the sight of evokers, being the only one to witness a young woman such as herself bring a gun to her forehead always made him assume the worst. He couldn't help it. The imagery of it was just...so so wrong. He and Hamuko couldn't think any more different.
What if something goes wrong? What if she doesn't get up? What if he's left all alone here to-
2/3
You will die.
Takuto...family...You will die.
No-! Mom, dad! Please don't go!You will die.
It should have been me! Not them!
You will die.
3/3
Azathoth doesn't screech anymore.
The howl pierces through his being and it makes him scatter. His brain crashes and skampers into a million other particles and gets compressed again when he sees the hand fly out to curl around Hamuko; the other planting itself to the ground that sent tremours on the surface. His knees shake a little as he backs up and ends up falling on his ass when he sees the sharp maw move-
He heaves deep breaths when he catches sight of red itself but not from him.
Death.
That's a personification of death- hovering before him. Holding those coffins like its very own wings.
"Holy shit," he can't help but curse as he tries to catch his bearings by trying to pick up his fallen clipboard, his shaking hands giving him away before he gets on his knees then pushes himself up.
A moment passes as Maruki rests a hand on his knee- carefully adjusting his glasses that fell to his mouth in a tilted askew fashion.
"Sorry I-Hah..." he blinks at Hamuko's nod and gulps. "I imagined this would be...something akin to putting your hand in a cage full of snakes but- its something else entirely."
He brings one index forward, silently grateful that Azathoth came with regenerative abilities to make for the mess if he- loses a limb again. It would be messy but-
His finger barely flicks the flat surface of one of those coffins. "Oh- oh my god that's real." He traces that edge of the coffin with its silver latches. "Are there..." the pit in his stomach is replaced by something else. Almost like curiosity. Too dazed. "Do those coffins carry bodies in them?"
no subject
She'd been keeping a focus - her hand was now against the flat of Thanatos' jaw-mask, ignoring the trickle of blood from her fingers down the metal, and the more she stood and breathed to slow her heart, the more Thanatos settled down. She felt a little smothered, like a tiger was laying on her shoulders...
In a way, she felt affection here, too. Was that from Ryoji? From Death as a whole? Or was she really at peace with herself, able and willing to love and protect herself despite it all?
Unfortunately she'd missed a lot of Maruki's gawking, whatever the feeling Death gave him happened to be. So she really only caught that last question.
"Well. You could open it and see? If they're not sealed shut," she laughed, finally opening her eyes to look at him. Thanatos' head turned to look in sync with her. "In the Dark Hour, coffins held the people that weren't exposed to the Dark Hour or Shadows yet... they safely slept in there until it passed. Or maybe there's the bodies of people I know in there? My mom and brother had blue hair, and my dad had the same auburn as me. Or, you know, maybe there's nothing."
no subject
Maruki didn't exactly follow what her laugh entailed. Whether she was uncomfortable, confused or just in shock of sorts after- well Thanatos certainly left an impression on him. He could only imagine how it is affecting her.
"Or maybe there's the bodies of people I know in there?"
Takuto falls short, eyes widening at the queestion.
The follow up of which makes it ten times worse.
...
.....
....?!
"Huh, okay you just-!" he blinks in shock and shakes his head as he tips it back. "Wow, there was a LOT to unpack just there! I am-"
"I am so sorry to hear that." The casual grotesque details of it were still settling into his head.
no subject
As Hamuko laughed, so too did Thanatos, perfectly synced - eerie in that neither of them sounded menacing or inhuman in their chuckle. Just sheepish, surprised. Thanatos was in perfect sync and harmony with Hamuko...
in a way Azathoth wasn't, was he?"Sorry, sorry - I wasn't meaning to drop that bomb like that, somehow I didn't think about how I hadn't mentioned it. That happened ten years ago. Technically longer for your 'year'. It's hard to filter my thoughts with Thanatos out."
no subject
Maruki found himself staring at the two of them like a child frozen in front of a shark tank, watching as the massive creature glided just behind the glass. That was exactly how Thanatos felt to him right now—something vast, powerful, unquestionably dangerous, with Hamuko as the only fragile barrier keeping it from tearing through.
And yet, the way both of them laughed—soft, in sync, natural—put him at ease and terrified him in equal measure.
“I mean...I’ve had my fair share of unsettling conversations before.” His voice wavered slightly, but he tried for something lighthearted, even if his nerves betrayed him. “Granted, most of them didn’t revolve around death quite so literally—but they did make me question how people go about their lives after they leave my office."
His gaze flickered back to the coffins, then to Hamuko again.
“...Now I’m really concerned that if I do open one of these, you might have a, um—visceral reaction to it.” He let out a breath, rubbing at the back of his neck. “But I think… I sort of understand it. How death presides over you.”
A pause.
His brow furrowed slightly, his grip tightening over his clipboard as he hesitated before adding, quieter:
“And with you.”
Because that was what truly unsettled him. Not just that she carried Death, but that she carried it so easily. Like a constant companion, like something familiar.
Like it had never truly left her at all.
no subject
"But I've had ten years for that to fade. I think I would be more upset to see friends of mine from last year. So-- go ahead and take a look--"
Thanatos shifted, subtly, the coffins all landing standing upright on the ground with that permission given. Hamuko's will made manifest.
The lids of the coffins hissed as they unlatched, shaking dust out from the seams, and swung open - Hamuko closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, bracing to hear what Maruki saw within, giving herself a chance to anticipate.
All that was within, though, in every single coffin - skeletons. Bare, dusty, ancient bones... some yellowed, some pale, some cracked and starting to crumble. They bore a funeral shroud, but no other cloth or clothing, no trinkets or memorable items buried with them. It was naught but bones, suspended in the casket as if they were laying flat in graves still.
"...Well?"
no subject
And not to mention he didn't exactly go grave robbing to test that theory on let's say- his grandparents and other deceased relatives.
He watched all too carefully, his guard up as Thanatos offered to line up the coffins and with that-
The skeletons.
He found himself heaving a deep breath but...one good thing was that as an academic, he had seen a fair share of skeletons. Not to mention there are far more gorey shadows and injuries he has grown queasy to but all in all- having them lined up like this felt like a funeral.
At Hamuko’s question his gaze drifts.
"All for naught, hm?"
There's nothing left in death.
All those memories you spend with others, all those promises you may have made or all the regrets you wanted to fix...all for naught.
To think Hamuko was connected like a mirror to that...
He didn't think even a life's worth of counselling would be tackle all of that abstract emotion she seemed to hold in her gaze. Then again, no science could ever fully comprehend the human mind.
But cognition could.
That's what his field was about.
There's almost a bitter smile on his face as he finds himself drifting close but not exactly pushing the boundary at desecrating the dead. All this magic. All this supernatural.
With Azathoth suspended in hate. In anger.
This was one constant. The one suffering Maruki couldn't possibly erase. Not fully."Thank you, Hamuko-san," he nods affirmatively. "This was very enlightening. I am very grateful."
no subject
Thanatos acted before Maruki could say anything, grabbing the top of the coffin and twisting it around on the ground with an unsettling scraping of the bottom against the cobbled stone. She jolted at the sudden movement, but settled.
A myriad of expressions crossed her in that moment. It was a body - an old one... "Are there more in--" she asked, though she felt it in her heart - she somehow already knew what the others looked like. Thanatos...?
Despite her focus shifting, Thanatos didn't wane - Hamuko went to the coffin and rested a hand on the side, looking in. That was a person... she should feel sad, right? But there was... a warmth...
"...It's beautiful... I think. There you are... it's proof you lived. No matter what kind of life it was... you aren't alone. We're all bones, inside - we all live, and we all die, and we're together in this... ... ... I wonder if my body was buried? If they had a nice funeral for me... oh, maybe cremated instead. I wouldn't mind that either."
Was it Thanatos that made the thought feel so... warm? Or maybe it's just that she is dead. Normally. Maybe Mitsuru was even keeping her body under watch, waiting to see if it revived like Chidori's did... hopefully that wasn't too difficult on her, if she did.
no subject
A lot.
How does he even go about offering a counselling in all of that?! Should he even offer an answer to any of those questions? It hardly feels appropriate to say that considering the different ways you may have been buried or cremated in might be a bit tricky for someone as...usual as him? Is that the right term?
"I am sure your friends would have accommodated you to the best of their abilities," he finally says- figuring that offering sympathy really was the best way to go about it. "And your soul to be in peace."
That's really all he could offer, couldn't he?
no subject
"Sorry, that's all a bit strange, I'm sure - I think I probably sound more like someone on their deathbed than someone as peppy as I usually sound."
no subject
"...I could only imagine that they probably sound like you," he says, heaving a deep breath.
If they didn't know I erased them away from Rumi’s cognition. The source of her pain."Of course you don't need to really hide how you feel. If being peppy is the way to cope with it all then so be it."
no subject
"No, I think even that's not true... it wasn't about grief, it was about trying to get accepted by others. But once I did connect to people... not with that peppy personality, but through shared experiences... I found myself laughing and joking a lot more just naturally. I was happier a lot more for real."
no subject
He didn't voice any of those thoughts of course. It was much easier to claim a more neutral stance with it.
"Overcoming grief through a good support system," he nods as if considering her words with no hidden glint underneath. "I am glad to hear that, Hamuko-san. You have been a wonderful person to speak to, believe it or not. Perhaps even more mature then the other adults and patients I have spoken to."
"...and I think I might put a pin on it for future meetings. I know the shadows only attack us here when we strike the shimenawa but I don't want to run into...exceptions." He looks on ahead to stare away at the fog, tapping his fingers away on his clipboard. "...I also have a running theory that the mention of names and every step we take shapes the cognition around us so uh- we should take things more carefully."
no subject
"Would saying names really affect things like that?" she asked, starting to walk and talk.
no subject
He did gain a lot of boost in his energy and overall endurance from it but he can’t say he missed it.
At Hamuko’s question he perks up a little, like an excited teacher running into an opportunity to speak about their subject. "Ever heard of the priming effect?"
"With exposure to certain stimulus- it influences a person's response to a later stimulus. Its why I end up wearing my disguse in and out- I just can't risk another violent chance encounter again."
no subject
no subject
Evil.
Evil.
Evil like Masayoshi Shido's exploitation of cognitive pscience to trample all his associates. Evil like the very descent of Nyx to draw humanity to a near apocalypse. Evil like-
He adjusts his glasses, a familiar shimmering gold taking over his pupils as he stopped and let her weave through items. Whatever. He has better things to be concerned about then mentally beat himself over other people's words.
Hideous. He was hideous. Hide himself away. Never step up again."I say right now I much prefer putting effort into my research-!" He continues cheerily. "Let's keep moving, shall we?"
no subject
One like the ones that are already floating down like snow. But she could feel it as it sat between her fingers, soft and silky but thrumming with energy. It... filled her chest with a warmth. A breath, a kindness, a relief-- almost feeling the opposite of the exhausting, disheartening, spirit-crushing effect that followed each battle.
Hamuko showed the petal to Maruki, nodding a bit to herself.
"Alright. Once we're completely out of stamina, we'll have this to make sure we can get out safely. I'm holding onto this."
no subject
He follows Hamuko and raises a brow at the petal. He didn't ask to hold this one, figuring that this was yet another symbolic item that held its significance here. "Flowers do bring comfort and healing," he nods. "I will follow you along. Let's get to the bottom of this."
no subject
Hamuko took them to the next shimenawa. And the next, and the next - she could get them through quite a few battles, pushing them deeper into the dungeon as they went.
Each battle drained more and more stamina, and health was a bit rare to come by - still, a few well-timed Salvation skills kept them from completely keeling over. If she can plan, she can keep them on track, she can--
--But one missed attack and a well-timed critical from the enemy threw her on her ass. It really only ever took a split moment of something going wrong, didn't it? And Hamuko scrambled to try and get back up, even with the shadow bearing down on her with a follow-up.