[MINGLE] chocolate and roses

[vrdr_mods]

It's Valentine's Day, and that means just one thing for the inhabitants of the Velvet Room: chaos.

And chocolate, possibly. Or even something else? Or perhaps you're spending the holiday entirely by yourself?

[[ooc: just a quick catchall post for any toplevels or threads people might want to make for the holiday! Feel free to make inbox or journal posts as well.]]

Comments

[wipingallout]

Listening, Hamuko nodded, taking sips as she thought about it, tried to picture what sort of feelings he was trying to put into words.

Feelings were a little bit frustrating like that - sometimes, words didn't really accurately describe a feeling, especially not one from the midst of trying to... recall what feels like you're forgetting.

Even something massive, and frightening, like a missing year - like remembering what you and your friends had fought for leading into the end of January.

"Are there triggers in conversations that seem to instigate it a bit more?"

[seekerofjustice]

"I'm not certain. The feelings vary depending on the memories that try to resurface. In this case you were speaking about..."

He has to take a moment to recall. It's on the tip of his tongue, it really is, but it all feels like sand slipping through his fingers...

"You... said something about moving, I believe? I'm not certain why, but you said something of the sort, and suddenly all sorts of images began overtaking my mind, and I experienced those sensations."

He lifts the coffee again, getting ready to take a sip. He looks back up at Hamuko again before he does so though.

"...Other times I feel something different. Sometimes it's simply familiarity. Others it's fear. There's also... some kind of tension in my chest. Adrenaline at other times. Always memories that have a negative connotation, but something I cannot see or hear clearly. It's never consistent..."

It's maddening. So, so maddening.

He finally goes to sip his coffee again, to savor the sweet taste.

[wipingallout]

"Right... I was mentioning that I was used to moving around a lot. That's because I'm an orphan, so I got bounced between foster homes quite a bit. Maybe that sort of thing or something similar is what triggered it?"

She said it with a calm and matter-of-factness... it was clear from her tone that she was mostly paying attention to Dove, more than anything else.

[seekerofjustice]

Dove stiffens slightly, and he pulls the cup away from his lips slightly.

"...?"

The look in his eyes seems to go rather vacant again, though not quite in the same way as before. In this case, the gears are trying to churn behind those eyes of his, but they've been stalled. They grind against one another, something snagged in them, preventing his thoughts from proceeding smoothly.

He's fighting to put two and two together, but unfortunately the actualization wins out, as he asks:

"...Apologies, but... what is an 'orphan'? Or 'foster homes' for that matter? I... should know what they are, I imagine, but I'm..."

[wipingallout]

...What? How does... someone not know what an orphan is? Or a foster home? At his age, too.

This really isn't different from Morning, is it?

"Wow... uh, well. When I was seven years old, both of my parents and my brother died. So for all the years after that, I had to live with different families that volunteered to take care of me - they're called foster families."

[seekerofjustice]

That seems to snap Dove back to reality to a degree.

Right. Death exists. Children whose parents have died... Some of the other Akechis here have lost their mothers... Does that mean they're orphans? Did some of them go to foster families?

"...I see. Thank you. Apologies, I... had never heard the terms before, but I am familiar with the concept of death and loss to a degree."

...But what about him then. If he had that kind of series of images pop up when he heard about the idea of being passed around like that... what does that mean for him?

"...With that in mind... I can think of one particular conclusion regarding my past."

He probably doesn't need to say it, does he? He probably lost his mother like the other Akechis, and was taken by multiple families only to be thrown to the next.

The more he tries to visualize it, the more his head starts to hurt again, ouch...

[wipingallout]

Painful, both with a headache and a heartache, huh...

"It'd be something we had in common, at least. So... painful or no, there would be someone who knows what it felt like."

She paused, waiting and watching - she could give him little pushes and nudges, but Hamuko was also waiting for any sign to immediately stop.

[seekerofjustice]

A similarity between them... That is true. It doesn't quite ease the discomfort he's feeling, but it's also a nice sentiment.

"That is correct, yes. I... I must apologize for reminding you of such difficult memories. I never intended to."

His hands tighten around his cup a bit, apparently against himself.

"...It's just that... times like these are when I begin to waver. Memories like this... Feelings like these... How do I...?"

How does someone bear them all without breaking apart? Was there a time he knew how?

[wipingallout]

"Hey, I brought them up - if it was too difficult to bear, I wouldn't have touched on it. I've had a long time to get used to different things that happened in my life," she reassured with a nod.

As he explained further, she watched the way his hands clenched around the cup. The way he seemed... torn.

"...Well. I think... repression is kind of our mind's way of trying to protect ourselves. That's what my old therapists back in the day told me," she started. Even if there was something supernatural involved, maybe...

"...But eventually we do have to face those things. And it hurts, so so badly, but that's the first step to learning how to heal from them. I say it's up to you when you want to genuinely try to take it on."