Akira Kurusu (
justicesfool) wrote in
personavelvetroomdr2023-08-16 10:10 am
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Entry tags:
Pew Pew
[The thing about being somewhere new is that usually, you were supposed to be able to use it as a fresh start. This... is not that. This is a place full of faces he knows - his own face, and Akechi's - and especially with the way the Mona who'd seemed like he was from his other life had reacted to him... it's giving him flashbacks of his record being leaked in Shujin. He keeps almost saying the wrong thing to people, too, used to everyone already knowing.
It's a while after all of that, and he hasn't risked going anywhere near Leblanc. He's scouted around a few places, though, and now he's wound up here at the arcade, playing a vicious game of Gun About. What can he say? It's good for getting rid of all that stress, without risking anyone walking in on him slaughtering shadows in a non-Joker-like way.
That said, even this isn't quite... right. He's too focused, for one thing. A bit too accurate. Nowhere near showy enough, either.
Poke him anyway?]
It's a while after all of that, and he hasn't risked going anywhere near Leblanc. He's scouted around a few places, though, and now he's wound up here at the arcade, playing a vicious game of Gun About. What can he say? It's good for getting rid of all that stress, without risking anyone walking in on him slaughtering shadows in a non-Joker-like way.
That said, even this isn't quite... right. He's too focused, for one thing. A bit too accurate. Nowhere near showy enough, either.
Poke him anyway?]
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[Pew, pew. He takes some more shots, calm, relaxed, and even rolling his shoulders back.]
'At first.' Interesting choice of words there.
[It suggests there's a story behind it, but he doesn't want to press too hard.]
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[He's not clarifying who that happened to. Clearly it wasn't him. It was, but he's sure it was Akechi too, from the sound of it.]
Isn't anyone's? It's... [He actually slows down, to think about his words more in between shots.] ...harder when there's no one with you. You're on your own. You only have yourself to rely on.
[It's easy to just - assume that even if he's not the same Goro Akechi, he'd at least be able to understand that part. He doesn't have to say how it happened, or what happened next.]
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[He chuckles briefly, taking another shot before listening quietly. His smirk wanes into a flat line, not quite a frown, but on the verge.]
...I used to believe I only could rely on myself, and after that, only a select few who had surpassed my expectations. My refusal to open up to others is what manifested my Shadow and prevented me from using my Persona.
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[The thing about Akechi living with her surprises him, but - different worlds, and Akechi always has been close with them, somehow.]
Yeah... sounds familiar. [To him. To Akechi.] Never heard of a Persona turning back into a Shadow, but it's a hard thing to grow out of.
[Especially when a certain someone kept using threats to keep him in place. That someone isn't in control anymore though, and definitely isn't here.]
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[He fires with a snarl, not at Akira, but at his past self. He was so bitter. So spiteful. So... scared.]
So even though I was a Wildcard, the instability in my heart caused my Shadow to take form.
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I know what you mean. One person gets 'chosen' and others don't. Doesn't seem fair.
[He winces. Not at Akechi's snarl, more at the next part. Good thing they're near the end of the game, though it's been doing its job.]
How does that even work? I can't imagine it's safe.
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[Two more shots. His voice is level, at least, and his expression calm.]
The culprit in the Inaba serial murders would have people who appeared in the local media thrust into the TV world, where they would surely perish, were it not for our efforts to save them. But they all had to face their Shadows, and we were there to protect them when acceptance proved too difficult.
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[Game ends, and shows their scores. Not bad. Not his best, but then, circumstances and all.]
I recognise a few of the details, [mostly from his time as a detective] but I never knew the Metaverse was involved. Or Personas.
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[He flashes a smirk.]
Or, well, me from the past. Evidently, my younger self is still here. I even gave him a phone call just to test if he was here, only to receive an earful for my efforts.
[A small snicker escapes him at the memory.]
Though that may be because I disguised my intentions behind an invitation to an "Akechi Alliance."
[It was very spur of the moment! Really, he was just bullshitting because the truth would be a bit much.]
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[Wait. Did he just hear that right.]
An invitation to- [laughing, again.] If mine were here, I'd get him to join. Make it a real thing. He'd probably play along.
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[He slides the gun back into its place for now, then folds his arms.]
With me, it's just my younger self and the version of me in your uniform. Hardly enough for a proper alliance.
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[Just because the others seemed fine so far didn't mean it'd stay like that. He's sure that if he met his younger... other... self, they wouldn't get along.]
Would you want more of you running around? Really? And- you in my... ah.
[Of all the types of Akechi that could wind up here.]
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[But his shoulders roll in a small, relaxed shrug. It's hard to say, really, with all the little discrepancies.
But that is an interesting question.]
But I suppose it depends on the types of Akechis that materialize. There's also that slightly young version with the beanie, who might be agreeable. He could use friends, I think, as I can only imagine the lack of connections may lead him down a dark path.
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[Then again, he has his own... idiosyncrasies. He takes in what Akechi's saying about the younger version of him in the beanie.
He hates that he can't say "Yeah, you're right" like he wants to without being obvious. Why would the Leader of the Phantom Thieves have gone down a dark path? It wouldn't make sense. His life doesn't make sense.]
You know. It's only after the Akechi I know started making connections [first himself, but then in the new timeline the others, too] that he started seeing things differently. Friends would be good. Even if you do have to drag him into it.
[There, that works.]
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[Still... hm. A small nod follows, accompanied by an almost breathless chuckle.]
Don't I know it, though? It took great pains for me to admit that I wanted friends. Kanji was easy enough due to the circumstances under which we met, but for the longest time I was afraid of getting too close to others.
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[Neither can Satanael.
...His own problem has nothing to do with admitting it; if that were it, things would be a lot easier. He just- nods.]
It's a hard habit to break.
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[He shakes his head, heaving a heavy sigh.]
But you don't unlearn years of coping mechanisms within a month. I think I was stupid, but I also get why.
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No, you don't. [It's only been two since he broke out.] And it's always worse when those fears aren't or weren't unfounded.
[Sometimes it strikes him just how similar they've become.]
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[Akechi runs a hand through his hair, then settles that same hand on his hip. His gaze is distant, his voice softer now.]
Sometimes people who are down on their luck make desperate, reckless choices. I dread to think of who I'd be, had I not met Kanji that night.
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Yeah. They do. [Him, Akechi... he's just glad he doesn't know of any of the Thieves who've been through anything as bad as them.] Kanji, huh?
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It's thanks to him that I was able to escape that waking nightmare and find my way to Ryotaro Dojima and his daughter.
[He heaves a wistful sigh, taking out a small, crocheted crow plush from his pocket and cradling it in his palm.]
That night altered the course of my life. In many regards, it's probably why I walk the path I do now.
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[It took his Akechi years to open up, believe people actually meant it when they wanted to help. And as for him... the less said the better, really.
The crow is... cute. It makes him think of his Crow, and-] I wonder if my version of you would like something like that. [It's mostly said to himself.]
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[Oh... Damn it. He sounds all wistful and longing, doesn't he?
It's the loneliness setting in, no doubt.]
It would depend on the life he lived and how heavily fortified his heart is from the world around him.
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It used to be pretty heavily fortified. It took me a long time to get through to him, let alone feel like he trusted me... but now? [Oh, look. That wistful, longing expression is mirrored.] We're pretty close. I'd like to think he'd appreciate the sentiment, at least.
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[He's not going to spill secrets. He promised as much, so he won't. He's better than that.]
Well, I'm not sure how he'll react to seeing me like this. He's met me as a child, and things were fairly amicable. But I'm the same age as him, and my life has taken many different turns since then.
[He pauses.]
...and right now my child self is once again deliberating texting him.
[Shared memories are weird.]
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