all your mother's weaves and your father's threads

[flightpen]

Ren hasn't seen the Velvet Room in a while.

There was at time when he was in here every week, fusing Personas to Caroline's acerbic commentary or listening to Yaldabaoth mutter ominous words of praise. It was different in January, like a lot of things, but the point is that it's gone now. He's not even sure Lavenza and Igor survived what happened.

And yet here he is, in what's recognizably the Velvet Room. But it's changed. It's not a prison anymore, even though this would be the best time for it; Ren's heart is in chains. What was it Akechi said to him? Your heart is free. Maybe back then.

Never mind that. Igor, if it is Igor, is unforthcoming. Make bonds—as if Ren can make bonds when people can't even have a meaningful conversation. He'll be returned to the moment he left—as if he wants to go there. His friends are happy, Akechi is alive, and Ren, like Maruki himself, stands outside the world. When he tries to press, Igor gets cryptic and nonsensical, and that's so fucking familiar lately that Ren doesn't bother to keep trying.

You might find him in the following situations:


1: the rockrose and the thistle will whistle as you moan

Maruki has left him alone, mostly. God's favorite. As far as Ren can figure, it's because he knows perfectly damn well that Ren finds his reality repulsive, and he wants Ren to accept it on his own. The implication there is that Maruki also knows deep down that people aren't themselves once he changes their cognition, but that's not a surprise. Maruki talks a big game, but on some level he must know what he's doing. Surely.

Anyway, like we were saying, he's left Ren mostly alone. But he loses time, comes back to himself with the coffee cold or the sun at a different angle or an awful TV show at the end of its saccharine episode. And although he never remembers feeling what preceded it, he knows. Too much despair, too much bleak hopelessness, and Maruki turns him off like a lightbulb until it's gone again. Can't accept the new world if he's too depressed. The stupid self-defeating hypocrisy of it is annoying as hell—is he meant to accept the new reality of his own accord or isn't he? But there was a time when it would've pissed him off a lot more.

He stands in front of Igor's desk, in a place he doesn't recognize, unsure where he is or what's going to happen to him, or where his friends are, or whether this is a new stage of Maruki's reality or something entirely different, and despair swallows him whole. He waits to be shut down.

And waits. And waits, saturated in misery like he hasn't in weeks. For a split second he almost finds himself grateful to Maruki for taking it away, but he flinches back from going down that road. Like this, frozen, waiting to blink and find that his legs hurt from standing too long, he's barely aware of his surroundings.


2: all the pins inside your fretted head and your muttered whens and hows

Having pulled himself together (and not lost any time, as far as he can tell?), Ren decides that the obvious first stop is the conspicuous board that stands in the strange Velvet Room. It doesn't look... Velvet Room-y. It looks like it was brought in from outside, and as he scans its bizarre contents, he realizes he's right.

The business about Akechis and Rens being fated to be together makes him feel a little sick, so he skims it quickly and moves on. Demons, vampires, okay, that's... he'll deal with that when he has to. But as he reads the list of Akechi codenames, his eyes land on one in particular. In the middle of the corvids and the predators, there's Sparrow.

The description leaves him without any doubt. His stomach sinks. Is Akechi okay? Can he even survive in a place like this? How is Ren going to find him?


3: you gently gift it to me 'cause you've no clue how to sew

In a first, helpless attempt to locate his Akechi (different enough from other Akechis, apparently, to be identified on sight... well, that's true enough), Ren decides to head into Tokyo and go looking for places Akechi still enjoys. Kichijoji is an obvious one, with the jazz bar and Inokashira Park and his apartment, the location of which he kept behind his lips the entire time Ren knew him, only to immediately invite him over in February. But instead of taking the train, Ren walks. Travel is strangely quick, and it gives him time to look at the cognitions, which the board claimed were eerie.

The board wasn't wrong. They don't even seem like the brainwashed people Ren is used to—cognitions is definitely the better term. At least the people back home have some variability in how they act, and at least they have some kind of mild reaction if you inconvenience them. Ren steps in front of them once or twice, sticks out his leg to trip one of them even, and they don't even frown at him.

Maruki's reality is still new. Maybe this is where everyone is going to end up; automatons, puppets, walking around like video game NPCs. His skin crawls. He stands to the side of a busy road in Shibuya and watches, stomach churning.


[[ooc: This is the Ren from pheasantboy's universe.]]

Comments

[flightpen]

"Ren." Crow, and Hawk, and Raven. And then... "Uh, listen, it's nice to meet you, but I think I saw my Akechi on the list and I kind of need to find him. I'm worried about him wandering around alone outside our world. Do you know Sparrow?"

[fogbornphantom]

"Ah." So not only a Ren, but Sparrow's rain, which means he...

His eyes narrow by a hair, but only a hair. Though a sliver of tension grips him, it's rather minute, all things considered. There are a lot of complicated feelings at play here. He did this to Sparrow, but he also likely had good intentions. Maruki pressured him. It's...

A lot.

"I'm familiar, yes. And if you're looking for him, I believe he is staying in an apartment in Kichijoji near my world's Yoshizawa-san." He pauses. "She still believes she is Kasumi, just so we're clear."

[flightpen]

Coming from a world essentially free of tension, Ren can sense the tiny change in Akechi's demeanor like it's under a spotlight. He draws back a little, uncertain.

"...But you don't. Believe she's Kasumi, I mean."

[fogbornphantom]

"I trust Futaba-chan's judgment that she is in fact Sumire Yoshizawa, not to mention the student records at Shujin support her suspicions." That's a lot of words just to say yes, but to his credit, he remains calm. There's a tinge of unhappiness, but nothing particularly sharp or hostile.

"That and there's another version of her here who's caused her a great deal of distress because she accused Maruki of brainwashing her. Sparrow's Shadow hasn't helped matters."

[flightpen]

Ren is listening, following along, thinking mostly that Crow's world sounds pretty different from what his own used to be like. But then Crow says...

"His what?" he asks faintly.

[fogbornphantom]

"His Shadow." He gives Ren a moment to process before clarifying. "Everything he was, everything that Maruki tore away has coalesced into a volatile Shadow in Mementos. He is driven by his hatred and extremely dangerous."

[flightpen]

Ren just... stares at Akechi, pale and shocked, his mind empty.

[fogbornphantom]

Yeah, that's about the reaction Crow expected, so he sighs. "Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I suppose I should also warn you that Sparrow tends to 'blank out' at any mention of Shadows, Persona, and the like."

[flightpen]

"He what?"

Ren presses his hands against his face. His fingertips creep under his glasses to cover his eyes, pushing them further up his nose. "God, can you just—sorry. No. I know you're just trying to make sure I'm. Ready for Akechi to blank out, what does that even mean?"

His voice starts to creep higher as he speaks. He doesn't bother trying to hide it; he's gotten out of the habit of concealing his distress, ever since people stopped noticing. Waste of effort.

[fogbornphantom]

"He... freezes. Forgets. In more drastic cases, he's rendered helpless, such as when he followed my younger self into the Mikage-cho door and was rendered helpless in the presence of the demons there."

There's a definite uneasiness to his voice. He can tell this Ren is uncomfortable. It isn't a pleasant topic, but he needs to know.

[flightpen]

"He went into—"

God. Ren can feel his Personas in his heart again, subdued and uncertain but at least they're there. Akechi doesn't even know what a Persona is, and apparently has some kind of weird episode when you bring them up. How the hell is he supposed to protect himself from demons?

"He's not safe here."

[fogbornphantom]

Crow nods, posture slightly slumped. He almost resembles a wilting flower in human form. "He got lost in this place called Tartarus for two months. He survived, thankfully, and Yoshizawa-san and two others rescued him, but his Shadow evidently tried to kill him. He believes that Sparrow should die. ...I suspect his feelings for you are no less severe."

[flightpen]

Ren's expression clouds over. "Yeah."

And that's all he has to say to that! He moves on fast. "I need to find him. I can keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't... wander through any demon doors."

[fogbornphantom]

"If it helps, I can give you the general address. Magpie's apartment is on the same floor, and I know my world's Yoshizawa-san is there as well."

Here, he pulls out a notepad and pen from his pocket to jot the directions down. "She may be worth contacting. As I understand it, she's been very supportive of him and may be willing to help."

[flightpen]

"I guess they have some stuff in common."

He takes the paper and scans the directions. It's the same building he remembers. "Thanks. I, um." He glances nervously up at Akechi from under his hair. "I appreciate it a lot. Sorry I snapped earlier."

[fogbornphantom]

"She's currently in such fervent denial about her identity that I believe she finds comfort in someone who is also challenged on an existential level by those around him."

Still, there's no bitterness in Crow's words, and he nods. "And it's all right. I understand that this is all a rather large adjustment."

[flightpen]

"Are people here pushing her about it?"

That implies a lot of people here know she's Sumire, which implies they come from... different timelines, maybe, like Crow, because Ren's own Futaba didn't know anything about Sumire. Or a time after they all found out, which means. January onward. Ren's stomach turns over.

[fogbornphantom]

"At the very least, another Yoshizawa-san has confronted her in addition to Sparrow's Shadow. It's put myself and my boyfriend in a rather precarious position, seeing how we both know the truth thanks to Futaba-chan, but Yoshizawa-san isn't inclined to listen."

And that's the rub. She's too attached to her identity as Kasumi to even entertain the possibility that she is wrong.

[flightpen]

"That's... sad."

Maybe that's a surprising thing to hear him say. But it's how he feels, imagining it.

[fogbornphantom]

"It's unfortunate. She's in fervent denial. She even begged for me to confirm that she wasn't brainwashed. I couldn't bring myself to respond to that text message."

He looks down, sighing heavily. It's just so much, honestly.

[flightpen]

Ren squints at him.

"Yeah, it sounds like a lot. Um. Can I... Sorry, never mind."

[fogbornphantom]

"If you have something to say, you're welcome to say it." It's calmly stated, simple and too the point. No point in holding back, really.

[flightpen]

If he says so... "I was just. Wondering if you were okay?"

[fogbornphantom]

"I get by. Yoshizawa-san is simply... difficult in that she really, truly believes she is Kasumi Yoshizawa or, at the very least, doesn't want to be proven wrong. That when coupled with her reverence for Maruki is a mess to contend with, made more complicated by her counterpart."

He shrugs, trying to play it off like it's nothing, but... "I can't control these things. It isn't necessarily my business, and yet because she is from my world, it is far more difficult to turn away."

[flightpen]

Ren flinches at the name Maruki. "What does he have to do with things? I mean. More than usual with Sumi?"

He remembers Sumire liking Maruki, respecting him, but not... revering him, particularly. Certainly not to the point that it caused problems.