personavelvetroomdr | My heart desires death (Second-death post) [Restricted]

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My heart desires death (Second-death post) [Restricted]

"Second death"

TW: death, gore, damaged flesh, suicide, possible panic attack in the threads

Ask first in DMs before rping.

Akira knew what he was doing.

This had happened before. A gun against his head and a trigger being pulled. Such simple actions, isn't it? Humanity had made it their sole birthright to use their intelligence in uprooting each other from their very bones and flesh as if their words and small actions weren't enough. Letting something wager someone's death on its other end- the sole duty of a gun and Akira had callously thrown away his life with it. As he always does. When Goro stood on the other side of the table, telling him things didn't have to turn this way if he just stayed away the moment he told him to. When he watched behind the door at the young grieving girl who blamed herself for her mother's death.

~~When he killed him. In anger. In frustration. In sheer fucking betrayal.~~

Except something was wrong.

He felt wrong.

He should have awakened to his previous picture amongst the crowds in his own world. He had a plan. He would be away from this otherworldly hell-hole and once again savour the one year he has in order to save everyone he cares about.

But then...what was this? He couldn't move. He was floating somewhere, his face facing a large gaping abyss. A sea of sorts, his chest heavy as he finds himself floating like the very particles of sand in an hourglass. His fingers weren't responding to him. He couldn't speak. He couldn't scream. What the hell went wrong here? Where is he?!

"It seems you are not enjoying the amenities of this world to the fullest, trickster," he hears a familiar voice speak but fuck it's everywhere. It's wiggling in his ears, itching into his eardrums; it's blaring through his whole body, shaking him to the very core. "I was hoping the first death would have been our last but- it certainly doesn't seem like it now."

The long-nosed man's uncanny grin looks up at the suspended floating body of Kira. A clear bullet hole at the centre of his forehead with blue gleaming from the injury's core- as if healing him from within. Regenerating back as if nothing had happened in the first place.

"What a shame."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

And then, from the Tokyo door, there's a sound of shattering glass. Ignoring his fallen shopping bag, Sparrow just stares, and stares, and stares, a hand of ice around his heart.

He rushes forward, staring at the hovering figure, turning to Igor in anguish. "What have you done to him?"

Igor just shakes his head, grinning behind his folded hands. "Look again, Goro Akechi. This is not your Trickster."

Sparrow does, indeed, look again. No, not the right one at all. The clothes, the camera.... all are wrong. But the blue glow around him, regrowing the last of his extremities—he knows he sees it in his nightmares.

"Oh, Ren," he whispers, looking away, and stepping back to wait.

Seconds become minutes as Igor hums. Unmoving. A daunting figure on a desk looking down upon Kira with an unflinching gaze. His hair wavers as blue mist collects at once, something one would only read in fairytales as the missing skin over the raven's forehead slowly mesh together. When all is said and done, the Velvet Room continues to harmonize as his camera flies up in the air, teathered to his own neck as his body slowly descends down like the lowering of a child in its cradle.

He hears his voice.

Such a foreign gentle touch and yet...

Akira feels like head is suddenly plunged into cold water.

His eyes shoot open first, taking in the intricate details welded into the ceiling of the Velvet Room- a piercing headache hitting him as he clutches his own head and turns away from the table- his camera now resting before him with the strap now splayed out as his eyes shut again. For a few seconds he feels like he's going to throw up, his death flashing in his eyes for the fifth time as his one hand runs its nails across the floor.

At last, one of his eyes slightly open, black blurring the lower half of his vision as he catches sight of those loafers and that brown hair as he strains his gaze to look further up.

Is he...is he back?

Was that a bad dream?

"Goro..." he groans out loud, drawing a single word like it was his only prayer right now. His only tether that could possibly hold him down.

And, even though it's not his Ren this time, Sparrow waits all the same. Nobody should wake alone, here. He couldn't have left anyway.

Haunted, ironically, by memory, he waits until he hears his own name breathed by familiar lips. His heart skips a beat before his mind remembers.

"You're safe, R—" Just in time, he remembers himself, swallowing. "You're safe, Amamiya-kun. You're in the—" Damn it, what was it called? "The blue room."

He catches him growing closer, finally managing to pull himself together as he forces him to lay up a little while using his right arm as support. His eyelids still remain heavy lidded but he does his best to focus on his words. Its all he can do. Its all he can try doing up until he realizes that was his undoing.

"You're safe, Amamiya-kun."

No.

His eyes widen in shock like this Akechi had just stabbed him on his chest before his head whips around to look at the blue decor. "No. No no no no-" his bottom lips quiver as he looks around the begrudging place, grey eyes widened in horror as he takes in the sight of the now polished version of who he knew.

Tears break through his eyelashes.

"No. Not yours. I am not-" his voice cracks as he buries his hands through his hair- his glasses long forgotten as they fall and skid across his shaking body. "I am not...I am NOT AMAMIYA- I AM NOT YOUR REN!" There's a rasp leaving his mouth as he pulls at his own hair.

Everything.

Everything he has done so far has-

Edited 2024-09-21 23:00 (UTC)

Sparrow stares, again frozen, again cast back into his own worst memories. His own Ren, curled on the floor in his new apartment, as he and Shrike tried to calm him. As if Sparrow had seen anything like it in his life, the way Ren's own emotion turned to acid.

Powerlessness beats in his throat. Then, from somewhere lost to him, he pulls up a calmer, steady voice. "Not Amamiya? My apologies. Then—it's Kurusu-kun, right?"

Easy, lilting words. Why couldn't he begin to do this for Ren? "Either way, you are safe, though I know it doesn't feel that way. Nothing can happen to you here."

Edited 2024-09-22 12:00 (UTC)

If he can't escape this timeline by shooting himself then what next? He's going to stay here indefinitely with other broken versions of himself or god knows what other Goro Akechi he will run into that will make him feel ill for the one person he wanted to return to. It wasn't fair. None of this was fair to him. "Stop," he shakes his head at the affirmation of his own name- still feeling the burn of his own wound on his forehead.

Don't use that voice for me.

The air grows heavy as he falls to his side, wrapping his arms around his chest as his legs curl up as he strings his limbs together to become a ball. He quivers pathetically under the innocent gaze of Sparrow's- fingers twitching against his arms as tears gush through his eyes. He couldn't believe it- he thought he had given up on such frivolous emotions ages ago. "Why can't it happen...?"

"What am I supposed to do...then-?" his voice breaks as he tries his best to hold his own tears, "I- promised him in that timeline that I will come back for him. I don't- I don't want to give up on him." His head feels like its spinning, growing heavier by the second. "How can I deserve to be safe...?" his voice grows thin.

"Trickster, now is not the time for you to mourn," Igor says with the same grin on his face. "We are all here for a new beginning, no?"

"SHUT UP-!" he yells as his eyes widen, screaming out loud as his eyes suddenly widen as he unfurls and hysterically gets up from the ground. His one hand suddenly hits the table with a BANG! before his other swerves into a circle- his dark eyes pooled with tears and anguish as papers fly around him like they are caught up in a storm. "I NEED TO GO BACK-!!"

He quickly goes over the table and throws one leg over, attempting to climb it as his hands lurch forward, trying to reach for the man sitting unflinchingly at his own chair.

Oh, that's not good. Sparrow jumps to his feet, aware again of how downright powerless he is to stop anyone here doing whatever they want to—

—and something whispers past him, invisible, out of earshot—

—he had to just stand there on the subway platform like a doll, while Ren died. He meets Igor's eye accusingly, getting nothing but that endless, maddening grin in return.

Pulling himself together, he steps over Igor's desk lamp, which is rolling on the floor without even going out. "Kurusu-kun," he says, firmly. "Please listen to me. It sounds as if there's something you need to know."

Edited 2024-09-22 17:08 (UTC)

He can't get past it.

He can't touch him.

"What-?" his voice breaks, the panic within him slipping to raw surprise as he watches his fingers freeze just a few centimetres away from him, an invisible barrier placed between him and the one murder or beat down he would never forget. "No-" he shakes his head as he vaguely remembers Falcon's words. The fact that nothing could be done against him- damn it, Akira was planning on trying to possess him by forcing him to take a picture but-

Its then that Akechi calls out to his name and he whips his head to the source of the voice at his beck and call.

"You-" he's about to yell at him to leave him the fuck alone but there is this...confirmation in those eyes that make him stop. "What are you talking about? No one can be that invulnerable- I know a way we can take over him!" His voice grows short as he forces himself away from the table- not even realizing his hands are now planted on his shoulders. He stops, wheezing as his fingers squeeze them slightly, trying to ground himself. "I need to go back to you." He says though it doesn't sound like he can even hear himself." I need to go back- I need to go back- I need to go back-"

It had taken her longer than she would have liked to get over. She had expected to see him shoot himself infront of her. It bothered her more than she'd like to admit. She hadn't see what happened to bodies here and that bothered her more than anything else.

After a text to her brothers, a quick, family meeting later, she pulled herself together. She made her way to grab a drink, and then the glowing blue door that appeared when ever you needed it.

"Akira!" She shouted. It wasn't too loud, she was more announcing her presence. She took steps to him, her steps slow, calculated, making sure he wasn't spooked.

She placed a hand on his shoulder, "Hey, breathe for a moment."

Edited 2024-09-28 19:54 (UTC)

The voice that yells for him is all but a part of the myriad of whispers now echoing within his ear. Its as if his mind was drawn to a single mantra, holding it as a lifeline as he could feel his own thinking grow thinner by the second.

"I need to..." he murmurs to himself, eyelashes clumping together from his tears gushing down from earlier. He looks over his shoulder, grey eyes glancing back at the one person he didn't want to see right now. Not with everything else that just happened. "Futaba- why- why the hell are you here?" He really couldn't breathe judging from the slight hitches leaving his lips.

"I..." he shakes his head as he rummages through his hair with his left hand before his knees slowly give out. His head hangs down as he presses the back of the same hand to his mouth. Its too much. Too many people.

"I should breathe, you said?"

"Yeah, just breathe. It's going to be okay." She said calmly, slowly. It's the only way she knew how to calm people down. Not that she'd had much experience with it.

She kneeled down to be beside him, she didn't want to tower over him. As much as she wanted to say what was he thinking it seemed whatever he tried hadn't worked. That caused him to panic.

Now it was her turn to answer his question, "I was right there when you tried that, I know what happens when people die here. You aren't the first one."

When is it ever okay?

Still, the tremours of his current present was passing over him. He couldn't believe it at all. Usually he's the one in control here. He's the one who gets away wih anything if he sets his mind to it with a proper backup plan. Even in his death, he had it all figured out!

Until now...

He takes a deep breath that comes out more shaky then he had originally anticipated. His sighs fill the quiet of the Velvet Room before he tries to focus on Futaba's words. A chuckle leaves his lips as a final tear runs down his cheek. "Yeah I learnt that the hard way," he shakes his head before he looks over his shoulder, his grey eyes zeroing down on the uncanny face and the wild eyebrows or the long nose...

"I am sorry," he says but he's not even looking at her. Shame blooming within him. "You shouldn't have witnessed that but I wasn't sure how you would have reacted if I suddenly tried to get away from you."

"It's just..." His voice breaks again as he steels himself to breathe. "...death has been my way out before. I- I don't know why I can't anymore." He's reminded of Wakaba again and how she had looked at him with that smile before jumping in front of traffic. "I am sorry."

She couldn't help but let out a laugh. "You can't think you are the first to do something like that in front of me. Some think it's better or more honorable to do that then by my hands," she shrugs, not that him having the face of her brother didn't bother her. That was something she'd check later. If he'd let her, who knows if he's even home. She bit her lip, she needed to be here now.

"Relax, relax, I'm not taking it to heart." She smiled. "When powers are taken from you it's very disorienting, and it's hard to grasp your new reality. Igor made this space, and we aren't sure why even with all our theories he doesn't answer us."

"I'm not your Futaba, I'm an unknown factor to you, I don't hold anything against you."

He doesn't know if Futaba's words are comforting just yet but the fact that for once, he's dealing with a meagre stranger who can't hurt him or touch him for no reason. "Yeah..." he releases a sound through his nose, close to a scoff. "Yeah I get that." He's seen people die right before his eyes. Hell he has experienced death in dying people's bodies. He gets it.

A little too well.

He can't bear to look at Futaba's smile for long, keeping his gaze down as his hand curls up on a bunch of papers- venting out his frustrations on it. "I am nothing without my powers..." he shakes his head as a bitter laugh erupts from his throat. "It would all be for nothing."

"As for this Igor- " he grits his teeth as he balls the paper in his hand. "I don't know why you expect him to answer you guys. He seems like some empty puppet to a higher force- there is no way he’s going to answer to you."

"Just give me a bit...I just need to get used to this little predicament." He sighs as he sits down on the floor and pulls his knees to his chest. "Its pathetic in all honesty. Even if we have never met each other before."

“You are not nothing without your powers, you still exist.” She sighed. She hadn’t ever thought of Igor like a puppet bit that’s might be something she adds to the list of theories. A higher power, that was something that she might want to investigate on her own.

“It’s not pathetic, who hasn’t had a mental breakdown when they got kidnapped into an alternate dimension and told they couldn’t go home until they made friends with people.” She sat down next to him, leaning on him slightly.

You are not nothing without your powers, you still exist.

If only that were true.
If only he could have agreed with that statement.

At some point he doesn't know when did he stop thinking about his own hopes and dreams. The burrow in his heart had grown into a gaping void- lacking any colour but a recycled mess of past hues instead. Where adding each colour shifts the grading to an ugly green to a dull brown. That's how his existence felt.

Nothing less. Nothing more.

He goes quiet as he feels Futaba sit next to him, the skin under his clothes flinching when she leans in- talking about the true nature of this place. For a moment his grief stalls as his chin suddenly whips up to look at Futaba- horror lacing those widened grey eyes.

"Is that...really what we are supposed to do?" he turns to look at her with eyes screaming You can't be serious right now.

"Make friends with...my doppels? Your doppels? Goro's doppels??"

His cheeks flush as his shoulders shake, a snort with a drawn out wheeze following deep in his throat as the dam breaks and he starts laughing. Great distraction, Futaba.

"Yep. that's the whole point of this place, to make friends." she shrugged, "not like we are a bunch of murderers or happy-go-lucky bunch." She shook her head. Her gaze looking over at their captor before coming back.

"It's quite a lovely group we've got too, we've also got people who might murder each other so I don't think it's quite just making friend lala land. It's not perfect by any means, we've still got drama..." her voice trails off, "my brother had a palace, but he's got his boyfriend now."

His head slowly starts to clear as he curls his palm around the paper and carefully places it in his side pocket. For someone who just went down an emotional rollercoaster, it seemed as if he were conscious enough to know when he needs to refer to something he will need later. Something was etched onto these papers and perhaps when he's alone, he can check this material for himself.

"Right. I am not expecting normal people to be in charge here," he shook his head as he snickers and rests his cheek on his curled up knees. Great. He feels a lot more calm now and its a bit strange just how they are having a normal conversation when that long-nosed man is just watching them from afar.

He finally settles back as he reminsces his previous interaction with a certain robot. "Yeah I think I pissed off one of the other Goros out there- this is such a shit show."

He lays back by resting the heel of his hands behind him on the blue floor, heaving a deep breath as he pinches the front of his bangs casually. "Uh...isn't a palace a good thing? He's rich or something?"

"Though boyfriend huh..." Judging from the amount of Goros, Akiras or...Rens here he could probably place two plus two together. Great. Fantastic. Just what he needs in a place such as this.

[ooc: he's not homophobic. He just hates gay people that look like him/j]

Edited 2024-10-07 21:07 (UTC)

She stared at him, "Do you not know what a palace is? Do you know what personas are?" oh boy, she was about to ruin his entire perception if that was true. Almost everyone here knew about that stuff anyways so it was brought up pretty often.

"Goros are easy to upset, they hold things against others," she shrugged, "don't hold it against them."

She sighed, her knees pulling up to her chest. "Goros and Rens seem to get together a lot. I think there's something that ties them together. They tend to be all focused on each other, doing everything they can," even leaving others behind, even if they try not to. She knew the day would come, she just wanted to live in her delusion for a little while longer, she didn't want to fake around them.

"Oh yeah personas. I heard about them," he continues dumbly as he squaints at Futaba's stare. "I...also know what a palace is? Never lived in one but sheesh-" he raises both of his hands as he pshs but its obvious from his tone he's not being serious. "-I am not broke, alright? I can win multiple lotteries if I wanted to."

Well, maybe he shouldn't have mentioned that.

"Maybe I have the wrong idea about a palace here however- speaking of personas-!" he suddenly turns to look at her with a pointed look. "That Goro summoned his Robin Hood and nearly attacked me-! Even if I upsetted him he blew it way out of the proportion-!" He huffs as he folds his arms to his chest. "Of course. Never take a poor Akiras feelings seriously~" Its not like he doesn't know how his own Akechi is. He's known him since fucking forever now but it doesn't mean he can't make fun of him even in another alternate dimension.

He listens to Futaba's explanation and it only leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. His gaze flickers for a moment as his lips quiver again into a straight line but this time he has his mind in one place. He knows better than to try and act like he is a stranger to such a concept.

And of course its Ren with Goros.

Not Akira.

No wonder he hates that name.

Not like anyone knows just how much fate was a bitch to them. To him. To his Goro.

"Sooo what I am hearing is you play third wheel a lot," he continues casually. "That's very encouraging." There's a slow nod as he thinks about Dove and his Ren. "But I guess I understand what you mean by focusing on each other. Me and Go-" he stops, his insides curling unpleasantly as he finally huffs again and forces himself to pull his legs away from his chest.

"You want to ditch this place?" He suddenly asks. "Or trash it? I am down for both."

Edited 2024-10-07 21:46 (UTC)

She laughed, "No palaces are ruled by shadows and people's darkest desires. Maybe you should win the lottery ever tried it?"

Someone summoned a persona on him. Who did he piss off? Poor guy didn't even know much and got nearly got spawn killed. He'll be okay eventually. Who ever was pissed off will get over it, in due time.

"I do," she answers honestly. Seemed Akira has something going on with his Goro too, but she wasn't high enough level to access that information yet. She had a feeling it had to deal with the time travel, like Crane.

"While we can't trash the velvet room, I do know we can trash several other locations. Like the diet building." she grinned. She leaned back before rocking back onto her feet.

"Eh...I suppose I could try it now," he says eventhough he's won the lottery multiple times in his own universe. In all honesty he doesn't even know what to say on the topic of palaces and shadows. All he's hearing is videogame mumbo jumbo and now he's even more psyched to explore whatever she meant by it. Maybe he should start with going back to this Mementos or the Midnight Channel in Inaba. Sounds like a good place to start as any. "Actually I have no idea what to do around here so I will just experiment around."

Its then Futaba mentions something so magnificent he's already up on his feet now- one hand slipping in his pocket to check the papers once more before there are true sparkles in his grey eyes. He wipes at them once more just to get rid of the grime and dirt from his tears as he turns to look at the girl with a grin on his face. "You can't be- oh my god." This is so ridiculous but maybe this is what he needs right now. He doesn't know how would two people be able to pull it off but she did mention the fact that they have blown up buildings before.

Its not as if his life isn't already a big joke right now.

"Are we thinking dynamite? AK-47s? A missile-!? Maybe we could demolish it."

That certainly cheered him up. She couldn't help but laugh. "I'm entirely serious, I'm sure we wouldn't even be the first." She shrugged. She stretched her hands up above her head.

"We have demolished a building before, though I'm not sure how it was done. building rebuild themselves, so we can do any option you'd prefer." It would be something to keep her mind busy too after all. "The hard part is getting the supplies, but who would I be if I didn't know dealers." She winked.

"Pfft, great." He rolls his eyes at her statement. He's never pulling a first here for some reason but then again if there are multiple others who think the same way he does- he shouldn't be so surprised. "We can do better than the first timers."

He tends to his left shoulder with his right and lets his arm roll a little. He's...still not feeling too well about the fact that he's stuck here but the company he's in is making his thoughts a little bearable. Even for a little bit but once its all over then what? What if Igor is lying to him (which wouldn't be as much of a surprise) and the rest of the world continues to live on into the very future while he's still stuck here. In the past.

There's a slow grin on his face as he snickers at her wink. "I would be disappointed if you didn't." Its Futaba Sakura after all. Of course she knew people. "Be careful with the shady ones though, alright?" He adds as he finally straightens up and grabs another paper from the floor- crumpling it into a ball and throws it at Igor.

It flies across and stops right before Igor's forehead. His eyes widen as it floats in air, a ripple follows and then it flops down on the table.

"Changing or demolishing objects will simply bring them back to their restored state. That's the true nature of this room and this world."

"Ugh," Akira groans as he turns to Futaba and points at Igor with a mocking expression on his face. "He seriously talks like an NPC."

"Anyways let's get out of here first. I will probably crash at home first the uh- revival process isn't pretty."

She smiles, he was fun. That was better than what she’s been doing. It was better than wandering too. He was a bit like Ren, she could see them reflected in each other. It hurt her a little, but she pushed those feelings down.

“He really does,” She walked over to the door, “This is our door, if you are serious about heading home while I get the materials. I’ll text you?” She offers, she never imagined respawning was much fun but she didn’t see it first hand until now and she would prefer to not see it again.

She started putting together a plan on how to deal with the building and get the supplies there. Maybe she could avoid people for a while, maybe she could avoid home for a while.

He places his hands in his pockets, takes one last feel of the papers he just stole before wordlessly following behind her. In any other context, at any other location or perhaps in another universe he may have stopped and asked himself if he's eaten enough and his brain is truly working at its peak capacity (as its intended anyway) but right now nothing doesn't seem to matter anymore. There's people here, sure, people who can keep him hanging off the edge of sanity and the total vast emptiness as he considers the time he has now. He needs time for himself. Alone.

"Shit- yeah, we are doing this so its better we are both at our 100% when we do it, right?" He answers. "I can probably arrange something on my own too."

Akira hums as he brings up his palm and lets it hover in the gaping darkness enveloped within the frames of the door. "Cool..." He's honestly a bit mesmerized at just how magic manifested in a place like this. "You know the funniest part? I feel like I am the younger sibling between us right now," he laughs as he, as a completely natural gesture, brings his hand to her head and ruffles her bangs a little. "We need to change that. I won't be able to live in peace if you managed to one up me."

Better think about the way you see people, Kira, before you think yourself better than them.

Akira's gaze flickers, Falcon's haughty stare appearing then vanquising just the same, as he pulls his hand away from her hair. "Sorry, force of habit." He quickly brings his hand over and pushes away a bang away from her eyes to let it curl on the side. "Well- even my Futaba got mad when I did it but-"

"Eurgh. Yeah." He sputters as his palm gestures wildly. How does he go about explaining all of the multiverse bullshit to her? He makes a circling gesture on the side of his forehead. "Wow- purge that from your memory. All of it."

I feel like I am the younger sibling between us right now. That repeated a few times in her head, ah maybe that's just how she's viewed, maybe that's why it was so easy to have someone else by their side. A sister is just a sister after all.

She was pulled out of her thoughts with a hand on her head, her bangs being messed with she blinked quickly as she tried to figure out what was happening. "Force of habit..." she mumbled under her breath.

"I don't think I'll purge it, be haunted by the fact I will always know," she taunted.

Akira was never the type to show off his flaws of flusterings to other people. A sputtering phrase? Well, in those cases he genuinely did get the habit of going back in time and properly consider the next thing he wants to say if he had a picture available. Now he's just stuck here, watching as Futaba decides to take things even further as she taunted him.
He grows quiet as he stares at her for a good amount of time, not exactly surprised by her words. His expression grows completely stoic before the corner of his lips perks up as he suddenly shoots out his hand to once again mess up her hair.

~~He's not planning to do it, just messing with her.~~

She studied him as he reacted, it was always a good idea when met with someone new, no matter how similar they were to someone else you know. ~~Or if they were the same person.~~

His lip came up and she was instantly aware of intent. His hand raised and she stepped back and ducked, not this time, Akira.

"Ha-!" He chuckled as Futaba ducked, now poking her on the forehead this time which landed true to its mark unlike his previous action which she successfully ducked. "There. Its all purged now. You don't remember a thing~"

"Okay alright- that's enough distraction from my end," he shakes his head as he sighs and looks away for a moment. His eyes remain on the velvet room, his grin falling to a flat line as grief overcomes him. Akechi. He's not here. He's gone.

Possibly for as long as he's going to be here.

He does try to keep his smile adamant just in case Futaba is watching. "Just being serious here," he gulps as he looks forward at the velvet door that will lead him back to the real world. "Thank you. For checking in on me, I mean." He just hopes his powers don't curse her since she's one of the few people who somewhat know how they work. "I should be alright from here- just need a little time." He stops, his gaze flinching as he finds himself staring down at his camera. "Well, its not like I am gonna run out of it either now. Atleast for a while."

He was playful, but he could become serious on a moment's dime, that was something she'd have to get used to. It seemed to be a trait that several of them shared, but she'd never guess who had what.

"Don't worry over it. You looked stressed and in pain. Everyone adjusts over time. It just takes some longer than others," she glances away, "don't lose hope about whatever you are missing. Time pauses back home. You aren't missing anything." She meets his eyes with a sad smile, one she can't even make her pretended joy, her masked sadness coming almost fully to light. "If the past is anything to go off of, he'll probably show up here in the future, if it be a year later, or less."

Everyone says that he's not missing anything. He's just on a vacation without his own consent and he should stop worrying about it but- how do they know that? Igor could be lying to all of them so that none of them panic. "..." he hums though he doesn't sound too convinced. Honestly, Futaba herself doesn't look like she's happy about the arrangements either. As much as it did dishearten him, it was better than lying to him outright.

If the past is anything to go off of, he'll probably show up here in the future.

Akira's eyes widen behind his glasses as he looks at her like she was the one who shot herself in front of him. Would he...want that? Would he want to be with Goro- after everything that had happened. After all the times he failed him? "D-Don't."

"Don't give me that hope, please. He's- he could come from any timeline. If he knows what I did in them he would-"

He presses the back of his hand to his mouth before cupping the sight of his cheek. Shut up. Shut up. He doesn't need this right now. Not in front of her (she's seen enough of it). Not in front of Igor who's simply going to grin and pretend like he gives a shit. "Oh wow- look at me ramble like that-! I just need to sleep it off really then we need to demolish a building."

She sighed, then placed a hand on his shoulder. "Akira, it'll be okay," she said softly. She gave him a smile then squeezed her hand and stepped back, "go nap, I'll take care of gathering the equipment."

She couldn't think of what he was thinking she couldn't imagine it. She did know that this was going to be a way to get some things off her chest and that was going to be what kept her going for now.

"I am good," he answers in return to her consoling. He's doing amazing, actually- he's just never had the chance to think through about his actions. Always planning ahead, always miscontruing the past to the point that it was mutiliated to a shell of his true timeline...his shoulders hunch when she steps away. His jaw tightens as he finally decides to let go of this place as a whole- he's never coming back to the velvet room. Never again.

Not until he's back home.

"Don't go bald from worrying, alright?" He playfully replies as he winks at her again. Its about damn time they left. He reaches forward for the door knob and twists it- letting the gaping blue void welcome him as the two of them finally depart from their messy first meeting. He doesn't know how much value an ally holds here just yet or does it even matter if he has friends here or not. He doesn't know if he wants something like that anyway.

Mostly, he's worked alone after all.

Not that it matters anymore. Might as well spend the rest of the time grieving in his room- if it even exists.

What a shitshow.

=====

Once he's alone in his room, blankets draped over his head as he finds himself balling into a caccoon- he finds himself staring at his gallery. Emptily. Photos of him and his Akechi. Times when things weren't so complicated...he feels like a failure. He glances down at his shirt- biting the inside of his cheek before unbotting the first two buttons to glance down at the ring now hanging off from a silver chain around his neck. He clutches it carefully, rubbing his eyes once as he releases a shaky sigh and pulls himself together.

He finally goes for his pocket and unfurls the poorly wrinkled paper.

There are names.

Names of all the inhabitants here so far with their attached worldly numbers and locations. A significant amount of Akechis and Rens- less than half a dozen Akiras and some others he doesn't recognize or were his friend at some point. God- Haru...Futaba...Ann...Ryuji- so many others he never really got close too after the first few timelines.

Its only when he carefully stares at it- does he notice the lower portion of the paper fading away.

His eyes widen in panic as he goes for his phone and takes a quick few snapshots of the piece of paper. "What the hell.." he watches the record curl in or itself before extinguishing into tiny bits.

Fucking Igor thought he got him.

He snickers as he looks at the pictures, confirming once that they haven't disappeared yet. Enough sulking, he should probably distract himself in some way, right?

Pancakes...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

My heart desires death (Second-death post) [Restricted]

"Second death"

TW: death, gore, damaged flesh, suicide, possible panic attack in the threads

Ask first in DMs before rping.

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TW: panic attack

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suicide imagery

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TW: wakaba's death

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1/2

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