Hamuko Arisato (
wipingallout) wrote in
personavelvetroomdr2025-01-30 04:41 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
Entry tags:
đ [Open]
... ... ... ... ?
What is...?
I shouldn't... be awake...
[In the Velvet Room...]
[It's courteous of whatever's going on with Igor's plan here that Hamuko is dressed. She probably shouldn't even have a body... whatever she has going on now... did her body fall comatose without her? Did it die? If it was alive, she surely should be much older. ... ... ... Maybe that all doesn't really matter, right now. She's here, gifted a chance to be around others again. The pinboard catches her attention first, of course. Signs of other people... so many little notes, talking about multiple versions of the same person running around. That's... that's charming... that's fun. ...Even if the notes about Ken Amadas make her sad...]
Hmm... I don't see any other 'me' off the bat...
[She'll take a few minutes once given a pen and some pink paper to doodle a little version of herself, signed with her name and phone number, and add it to the corner of the pinboard.]
[Inaba, Central Shopping District]
[What a fun little town! A charming place... hey, isn't this the town she went to for the volleyball camp? She loved the accommodations, but it's so nice to actually wander the streets and see the little shops. This place is SO rural, Hamuko had never really visited a place this remote, even when jumping between foster homes.] Let's see... what's the good spot for the locals? [No point being a complete tourist shmuck!!]
[Shibuya, Underground Mall]
[Well, since nothing costs anything here... might as well get some cute new clothes, right? Who knows how long she'll be around here, and 'dreaming up' new outfits didn't seem to be a thing. No lucid dreaming here - somehow, Hamuko felt a lot happier with that in mind. Still... the fashion is so different!!]
I just want one cute orange top...!! Is orange out of style? Dang it...
[Iwatodai Dorms]
[Of all of the places she's been having fun goofing off and exploring in, the dorms... she couldn't quite get the courage to open the front. Not just yet.]
Not even Koromaru is out front right now. ...I've gotta apologize...
What is...?
I shouldn't... be awake...
[In the Velvet Room...]
[It's courteous of whatever's going on with Igor's plan here that Hamuko is dressed. She probably shouldn't even have a body... whatever she has going on now... did her body fall comatose without her? Did it die? If it was alive, she surely should be much older. ... ... ... Maybe that all doesn't really matter, right now. She's here, gifted a chance to be around others again. The pinboard catches her attention first, of course. Signs of other people... so many little notes, talking about multiple versions of the same person running around. That's... that's charming... that's fun. ...Even if the notes about Ken Amadas make her sad...]
Hmm... I don't see any other 'me' off the bat...
[She'll take a few minutes once given a pen and some pink paper to doodle a little version of herself, signed with her name and phone number, and add it to the corner of the pinboard.]
[Inaba, Central Shopping District]
[What a fun little town! A charming place... hey, isn't this the town she went to for the volleyball camp? She loved the accommodations, but it's so nice to actually wander the streets and see the little shops. This place is SO rural, Hamuko had never really visited a place this remote, even when jumping between foster homes.] Let's see... what's the good spot for the locals? [No point being a complete tourist shmuck!!]
[Shibuya, Underground Mall]
[Well, since nothing costs anything here... might as well get some cute new clothes, right? Who knows how long she'll be around here, and 'dreaming up' new outfits didn't seem to be a thing. No lucid dreaming here - somehow, Hamuko felt a lot happier with that in mind. Still... the fashion is so different!!]
I just want one cute orange top...!! Is orange out of style? Dang it...
[Iwatodai Dorms]
[Of all of the places she's been having fun goofing off and exploring in, the dorms... she couldn't quite get the courage to open the front. Not just yet.]
Not even Koromaru is out front right now. ...I've gotta apologize...
no subject
Thenâ
Azathothâs voice curled into his mind, an ever-present whisper laced with knowing amusement.
Marukiâs chuckle stuttered in his throat. His expression dulled for just a fraction of a second before he forced himself to brush the thought aside. He was used to this. Heâd learned how to silence it when it mattered.
He exhaled lightly, re-centering himself, but thenâ
Footwear.
His gaze flicked down to his own feet, blinking once at the sight of his trusted flip-flops.
ââŚWhatâs wrong with my footwear?â he asked, genuinely puzzled.
It wasn't like they were bad! They were comfortable, breathable, easy to slip onâpractical for a casual stroll around town! âŚGranted, they werenât exactly combat-ready, but in his defense, he hadnât planned on diving headfirst into a TV when he left the house.
no subject
But Maruki seemed a bit... pale? Sheepish? After that. Mm, maybe she should be more careful, in case he's self conscious.
"Also not good arch support if you're out for a looong time, but that's for longer exercise and excursions, so it might not matter as much."
no subject
It was an absentminded comment, but it was a little funny when he thought about it. He rarely even traveled on foot in cognitive spacesâAzathothâs massive, writhing tentacles made for a strangely effective (if unsettling) means of flight. Maybe heâd just gotten too used to floating everywhere to worry about his footing.
Still, Hamuko had a point. Flip-flops werenât exactly great for stability, especially if he had to make a sudden break for it.
ââŚAlright, fine. Iâll invest in some proper shoes.â He smiled, though there was a lighthearted resignation in his voice. âPerhaps not immediately, but⌠maybe I should at least keep a small bag on me. For storage. Just in case.â
That was future Marukiâs problem.
no subject
She pulled out from the bottom of her bag her old S.E.E.S. belt, clipping it on and making sure the evoker was ready. And then, of course, pulling out a few... metal rods? And something in a leather bag? She screwed the rods together snugly, making a long pole-arm.
no subject
He turned slightly, pulling his clipboard back up to double-check his notes. The big TV in Junes⌠should be in Junes. Obviously. That part was simple enough. He had been there once before to return a tapeâsurely that was the right place to investigate.
With a sigh, he turned back to Hamuko, ready to lead the way. âWe should get moving. If weâre looking for a main hub, thenââ
He paused.
Oh.
She was making the naginata.
His eyes widened slightly as she deftly screwed the rods together, the weapon extending into its full length with each practiced motion. For a moment, he was just⌠impressed. And maybe a little envious.
âThatâsââ He cut himself off, regaining his stride and motioning for her to follow as they started walking. But his curiosity had already taken hold.
âYou just⌠make the weapon on the spot?â He glanced between her and the now fully assembled polearm, brows raising slightly. He kind of wanted to get a feel of the weapon itself, eyes doting on its form as it did. âThatâs incredibly efficient. Do you always carry the parts around like that?â
no subject
"The 'people' here not quite being people... that makes it a little easier."
no subject
A place where so much pain settled upon the world that even cognition itself warped to reflect itâŚ
His chest swelled with discomfort at the thought.
It was only when Hamuko spoke again that he realized he had absentmindedly circled the word coffins on his page, the ink pressing deeper into the paper from the number of times heâd gone over it. He blinked, quickly shaking off the creeping weight of his thoughts and glancing back up.
His gaze flickered to the weapon again, then to her. Right. Cognitions. The residents here werenât quite real, not in the way they should be.
âWell, that does explain a few things,â he mused, tapping his pen against the clipboard. âIâve heard of people blowing up buildings around here at their own leisure, honestly. So really, you could probably go flaunting that around and no one would bat an eye.â He chuckled, though there was an odd sort of exasperation in his tone.
Then, as if remembering something, he glanced off to the side, rubbing the back of his neck. ââŚI had to buy weapons from shady online dealers just to get anything functional for my research.â
The way he phrased it made it sound a little too casual. Like that was a perfectly normal thing to do.
Maruki sighed, shifting his clipboard under his arm as they walked. âNot a fun process, let me tell you. The whole time, I had to go through layers of vague listings and extremely questionable sellers just to get anything functional for my research.â
He shook his head, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. âOne guy I bought fromâreal eccentric cognitionâhad me meet him in some abandoned warehouse at exactly 3:33 AM.â He recounted this with the same tone someone might use to complain about an inconvenient grocery store trip. âHe said it was the only time the âspiritsâ werenât watching.â
He nodded to himself. âNice guy, though! A little paranoid and waved around a knife, but he did give me a discount when I told him I wasnât planning to use the weapons for âgovernment-level cleansing operations.ââ
no subject
"I'll have to do a little more climbing and regaining Personas to get set up with better equipment, but I'll figure that out later. I can still feel a few strong Personas sticking with me right now."
Still... walking through town with a naginata ready, looking for a TV to jump through.......
"So, what sort of things have you been researching, when it comes to Shadows? Or 'cognition', I guess?"
no subject
"Treasure chests, huhâŚ" He tapped his pen idly against the clipboard, thinking back to Mementos. "I suppose thatâs not too different from what Iâve found in the depths of Tokyo. Weapons, supplies⌠even some rather nice accessories." He says, adjusting his heart shaped pink glasses in tandem. It was an interesting item from a shadow if he will be honest.
His voice was lighthearted, but he did make a mental noteâif Hamuko was willing, he could show her Mementos sometime. Might be interesting to compare their experiences.
He kept walking ahead, taking a quick glance at her from the corner of his eye. She was staring around, almost like she was still getting used to the townâs layout.
âJunes should be just around the corner,â he commented quietly. âItâs a little tucked away, but we should be able to spot it soon.â
At her next question, though, he slowed his pace. He mulled over his answer, carefully weighing just how much he wanted to reveal.
"Let's just say I have had my fair share in understanding cognition from experiencing supernatural phenomenon at quite the young age," he starts. "While I specialize in psychology, Iâve particularly dabbled into cognitive behavioral therapy beforeâback when I was a school counselor. Itâs something Iâve always been interested in, especially in how people process their struggles.â
His fingers tapped idly against the clipboard, his gaze drifting ahead as he continued.
âBut with everything Iâve encountered over the years... my research has shifted toward something broader. Metaphysical cognitionâhow the mind shapes and perceives reality, and how deeply it integrates with memory, emotion, and perception. Shadows, distortions, cognitive spaces⌠all of it seems to stem from the unconscious mind. The fact that we are connected to the main hub across multiple universes, regardless of our current species, timelines, habits, experiences being built on the thread of cognition is just about enough proof that our reality exists because of it- which tends to shift more towards an occult-like science rather than the ones governed by human law."
"While I have only made theories before- I have only begun to see and experience it practically. It's a powerful field, I suppose, in a way you can't even lift a finger without it." He hesitated for a beat, then continued, âI also look into how it connects to emotional trauma. And, more importantly, how people should be allowed to move forward.â
He offered a small, subdued smile. âFrom their pain. From their suffering. From everything theyâve lost.â
no subject
The idea that people might be connected on a societal level, though... while the knee-jerk thought she had was that it didn't make sense, after a few more steps of silence to listen and think, it did.
"Supposedly, all of humanity was calling out for its own demise... at least, that's what we were told. I don't think that's strictly true... I know what despair feels like, but I think humanity wants to live, and thrive. There's painful things in life, but making it through to see beautiful things, to forge new connections with people... that's what makes life worth living. Even when it all seems hopeless."
no subject
Despair. Pain. And yetâhumanityâs will to fight, to persevere.
His expression dimmed slightly as he considered her perspective. Considered the sheer defiance of the people here, their refusal to be shaped by suffering, their rejection of his idealsâthe ones he had built to save them from it.
And yetâŚ
âI donât disagree that hope can shape people,â he said at last, his voice quieter, measured. âIâve seen it here. The strength people gain from one another, the way they lift each other up. Itâs remarkable.â
His fingers tightened slightly around his clipboard.
âBut...â His eyes flickered downward, toward the pavement. âThe collective consciousness, the general world, the common man- doesnât always reflect that.â
The wind carried his sigh, soft but heavy. âNot everyone makes it to the surface. Some fall too deep into despair to even see a way out. When someone has spent so long drowning, do we truly expect them to survive a relentless storm?â
Maruki exhaled lightly, shaking his head. â...In a perfect world, I would love to believe that everyone has the strength to fight. That making it through pain to find something beautiful is always an option.â His lips pressed together, and when he spoke again, it was almost to himself.
âBut not everyone gets that chance.â
cw: suicidality
She remembered so, so many moments in her life.
What's the point?
She doesn't have a family anymore. All she was in these strangers' homes was... a burden. No matter how small she made herself, she couldn't deny that she DID take space, and time, and resources - and saw how it furrowed brows.
Why am I fighting?
All of her efforts hastened the death of everyone, she'd been complicit in endangering everyone and been an unwitting pawn.
I'm scared.
She would have lied if she said that she hadn't seriously considered Ryoji's offer, even if it hadn't lasted long in the face of her resolve. Those few moments of deep terror, anguish, knowing it was coming inevitably, not wanting it to hurt more... it would be so, so easy. Living without being seized by guilt, fear, by knowing that she did this, she harbored the end of the world inside of her and doomed everyone like a fucking idiot--
Akinari's smiling, pale face came to mind. Ryoji, hugging her for a final time that terrible New Year's Eve. Shinjiro, finally alive and breathing and embracing her before everything went dark, a smile on his face. Every single member of SEES, looking to her, finding comfort in her resolve, deciding that even if they die, this mattered to them too.
Life was funny, like that.
"That's why it matters for those of us who can fight, who can keep going, to reach out and help everyone else. If I can be strong for someone that isn't, and I can be there for them so they aren't alone... then I will. That's worth fighting for," she answered with a soft, melancholic and humorless laugh. "People are afraid, so often. We don't live in a perfect world because people aren't perfect, but... they deserve a chance."
no subject
She had been through far too much. More than anyone should have to endure.
And yet, he understood.
Because he had been there too.
Even now, in the quiet of their conversation, he could still hear Rumiâs screams echoing in the halls of that hospital. The raw, anguished cries of someone drowning in grief, pleading for somethingâ*anything*âto take the pain away.
"I can't- I can't do this! Not anymore!"
"It hurts!"
"It hurts!"
Ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurts-
So he took it all away.
The pain. The hurt. The memories. Rumi wished to forget him. Forget everything related to her parents.
Azathoth? helped? him?Not even as he failed to protect her parents, not even as he stood helplessly by while her world shattered.
He had lost so much that day. The love of his life, the future they could have had, the warm light in her eyes that once made him feel like everything would be okay. It was gone, ripped away by circumstances beyond his control.
That was why he had to take up this research.
If the mind could shape reality, if it could distort and twist under the weight of painâthen it could heal too, couldnât it?
He wanted to use it in therapy. To pull people up before they sank too deep, to erase the burdens that crushed them.
If he could take away the suffering, if he could lift even one person from the depths of despair⌠then maybe they wouldnât have to beg to forget.
Maybe they could move forward. Truly move forwardâfree from the pain, free from the endless suffering that bound them to the past.
And HamukoâŚ
He could see it in her. The loneliness. The loss. The way she fought so hard for the sake of others, but never for herself. Despite not having any sort of context.
His fingers curled slightly around his clipboard, and for a moment, he looked away, his expression dulled by something unspoken.
When he met her gaze again, it was with quiet compassion.
ââŚYouâve been through a lot, havenât you, Hamuko-san?â
It wasnât just a question. It was recognition. A quiet acknowledgment of everything she had carriedâand everything she still did.
no subject
The end, huh...
"I may not have 'fixed' society, or anything like that... I might not have made things better. But I believe in them... I think it's in human nature to want to connect to others. And bonds like that are what help people that are struggling through the worst of it. Even if humanity was crying out for death, I won't let Her reach them - I want them to have the chance to make it through that despair."
no subject
"Even if humanity was crying out for death, I wonât let Her reach themâ"
His grip on his clipboard tightened.
She was talking about herself like she was already gone.
The factors were all there. The hints, the implications, the way she carried herselfâlike someone who had already reached their end and had made peace with it.
He didnât want to make assumptions. He couldnât.
Because if he was right, if he acknowledged what was clawing at the edge of his mind, then what did that mean? That he was talking to a ghost? A lingering cognition left behind in the wake of something tragic? A memory?
A lump formed in his throat.
Maruki tucked the thought away, quickly, methodicallyâlike pressing down a loose page in a book before the wind could carry it away. His own psyche was already a fragile enough thing. He wasnât going to risk unraveling it further.
Instead, he exhaled quietly, carefully choosing his next words.
ââŚI donât know your circumstances,â he admitted, his voice measured. âI donât know what your timeline, your world, particularly looks like in the way you may have experienced it. But I do know that youâve made an impact. Just by existing.â
His gaze softened, his sincerity pressing against the weight of her words.
âI believe that each and every person is a miracle in this world, Hamuko-san.â
It wasnât just something he told his patients. He believed it. People were born into circumstances beyond their control, shaped by joys and tragedies alike, but their very existence was a defiance of the impossible.
Maruki hesitated for a beat before continuing. âAnd while I wonât pry into what youâve been through⌠I can say that there are people out there who are striving to fix society now. People who have devoted themselves to their cause, to sort out Humanity's old habits of self-destruction, to studying cognition, to understanding the mindâs influence on reality.â
He offered a small, almost wistful smile.
âPeople like me, hopefully.â
Morning believed in it too. Right?Because if cognition could shape the world, if reality could be rewrittenâthen maybe, just maybe, they could create a world where despair didnât have to linger.
He just...needed to perfect the method. The answer must have been somewhere simply lingering in his mind but he will do it. No matter what it takes.
no subject
If she knew him better, she would've given him a playful shove. For now, she just chuckles.
"Well, being a counselor is always a good start. Most people just need someone that will listen and not judge them, right? Someone that'll believe in... them. Oh," she trailed off, seeing the sign for Junes, lit up even midday. "Wow, I really wouldn't have missed it if I kept walking, looks like part of the city encroaching on a little town. That's gotta be the place."
no subject
Steering through the pain.
Suffering when their dreams didn't follow through.
His smile fell as he looked away- staring ahead through the lens of his pink glasses to stare at a few birds perched on some of the electrical wires stretched from one pole to another.
He answers a beat after, lost in thought as he realizes the brief silence that follows Hamuko's words before he shakes his head and fiddles with his hoodie to adjust it.
"Ah yes, Junes. Time to really get into the field work-!" he starts and walks past Hamuko almost in a sort of rush as if tearing his mind away from latching on the forefronts of something rotten. "Junes, from what I heard was so successful as a department store that it severely impacted some of the businesses here in the Central Shopping District. A lot of the stores were shut down because of it...still," he shakes his head as he frowns and pulls out his clipboard again. "I have no idea on how such a powerful business could relate to the occurence of dungeons that open into your own heart. Did Tartarus also exist on a similar concept of popularity? Some magnanimous organization fostering feelings of that particular belief in others?" He turns the last question at Hamuko.
Maybe he needs to speak more to other persona users in Inaba before making any major conclusions.
Easier said then done.As they make their way past the aisles, the electronic department is right across and sure enough-
There's a small box filled with some boxes before the big screen.
1/2
Some boxes in front of... god, that was probably the biggest TV screen that Hamuko had EVER seen. So you just... go in through the screen?
Hamuko hems and haws a bit, digging through the boxes to find a pair of glasses while she sized up the screen. Either way she'll probably have to go in head-first - there's no real shelf or anything to grab on to swing her feet in.
no subject
1/2
He paused, watching Hamuko dig through the boxes.
Marukiâs brow furrowed slightly, but he shook his head, moving past it. âI suppose if your time didnât have the same kind of widespread social networkingâno MetaNav, no real online infrastructure dedicated to cognitive phenomenaâthen these kinds of distortions wouldnât have been easily accessible or well-documentedâŚâ
That was going to be an entire section in his notes later. But for nowâ
He turned back toward the screen, rubbing his chin. âMaybe we should take a moment to evaluate our options beforeââ
"Welp! See you on the other side! Cannonball!"
Maruki blinked. He looked up just in time to see Hamuko throw herself backward, completely unbothered, into the massive TV screen. His stomach dropped.
âWaitâhold on a momentâ!â
He reached for her on reflex, but it was too late. She was already gone. And now his handâ
âwas stuck.
Marukiâs eyes widened, his free hand gripping his clipboard. A sharp tingle ran up his arm, a pulling sensation, like the screen itself was trying to drag him in. He barely had time to register the situation before a memory surfacedâ
"Youâll need the glasses to see through the fog."
Ravenâs warning.
His mind snapped to the box of glasses, his gaze darting frantically. Instinct and his own cry took over. One of Azathothâs dark tendrils shot forward, rifling through the contents before yanking out a pair and pinning it to his chest pocket.
Maruki inhaled sharply, bracing himself.
This was insight into his research. This was a completely new field of study.
This was also absolutely, completely insane.
He let out one last deep breath before he stopped resisting the pullâ
And fell forward.
The moment Maruki felt himself slipping, instinct kicked in.
Half a mind to at least try and save himself, he subtly called upon Azathothânothing too obvious, just the barest whisper of its presence.
Something unseen stirred beneath him.
His fall was still undignified, still a complete failure in terms of graceâbut at the very last second, something cushioned the worst of it.
Instead of crashing full force onto the ground, he felt a faint, almost imperceptible resistance, like a layer of unseen air had softened the impact just before he landed. It barely lasted a second before fading completely, leaving no visible trace.
Still, Maruki felt it.
2/2
âAt this rate,â he muttered under his breath, âI might actually break my spine before I get my true breakthrough."
no subject
The difference was immediate. The area was SO much clearer, the strangeness of the world stretching out further, leading to different places, and--
There was a sudden, strong feeling that shot up and down Hamuko's spine. She turned on her heel, but all that really tumbled was--
Ah. The doctor. That must be the sensation of someone coming into this place, maybe...? Hamuko decided to put a pin in that unease, look into it later - for now, she offered her free hand for Maruki to take to help him up.
"Landed a little rough! You gotta roll when you land. Forward momentum to help lessen the downward energy, and all."
no subject
Brushing himself off, he sighed, shaking his head. "I swear, everyone here is in ridiculously good shape. Itâs honestly a little...unfair-" He cuts himself off as he pressed a hand against his lower back, wincing slightly.
His gaze flicked to her, still in disbelief at how casually she was taking all of this. She was already assessing their surroundings like getting sucked into a television was just another Tuesday.
Maruki exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. "Youâreâ that wasâ" He paused, searching for the right word. "Intense. No, actuallyâinsane. You cannonballed into another dimension!" he shook his head as he looks around. "Let's just hope we don't get stuck in this labyrinth." Is that where his clipboard is-? Everything is so foggy-
Oh right.
He looks at the glasses resting on the 'v' of his hoodie, finding the simple pair tucked in as he pulls off his previous rather quirky eye accessory and exchanges them.
The red frame finds itself sitting on the bridge of his nose.
no subject
Still, after hauling Maruki to his feet, she just gave him an amused smile.
"Jumping into a TV? Pshaw! I flung myself into the moon once, the TV was nothing after that," Hamuko laughed. His new glasses suited him more, made him look a tiny bit more like a grown adult, buuuut... she'd also seen him eat the floor there and he still had the kitty cat hoodie.
no subject
And then, slowly, he turned to look at her, still processing what she had just so casually thrown out into the world like it was nothing.
He gawked, lips parting as if he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. His brain scrambled for contextâwas she joking? Did she mean this metaphorically?â "Wha-?" he barely managed to ask. "You are joking, right?"
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2
2/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2
2/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2
2/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/?
2/2
1/2
2/2
1/2
Re: 2/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
TW: anxiety type skin crawling (1/2)
2/3
3/3
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)