October 4th

[vessel_ken_amada]

[CW: death]


It was a day where Ken was nowhere to be seen. Not in his room, the house, his old room, or anywhere he usually was. His phone was off, too. It may have seemed like he completely disappeared, had he not told Raven quickly before leaving that he'd be busy all day - just for the sake of not having a search party for him.

Someone going in that shady spot behind the Tatsumi Port Island station, however, would find him. He was there the whole day, just standing in the middle, not moving, seeming almost lifeless, his gaze lost in the void.

It was October 4th.

The day where she died.

The day where she was brutally murdered.

A scream. Sickly green hues. A giant monster suddenly appearing. Everything breaking apart. Rubble everywhere. She was shouting at him, pushing away, saving him. Blood. Terror.

...

...

Will someone approach him?

Comments

[fogboundcrow]

"What do you need right now?" He offers a hand, in case Ken needs it.

[minipancake]

"Take it anyway," he urges, easing closer to hold it out one last time. "It's warm. You don't have to drink it."

[vessel_ken_amada]

"I don't need it," he insisted. "I don't feel temperature the same way than you do."

Nevertheless, he finally takes the bowl, if only so that Wagtail would stop trying to offer it to him.

As for what he does need...

"Do you want the honest answer?" he asked Raven.

[fogboundcrow]

"You shouldn't have to hide your feelings for our benefit." Regardless of how dire it is, it's important.

Plus, Ken deflects far too frequently.

[minipancake]

That may be the case, but Wagtail doesn't buy it. He's seen Ken eat and drink; he knows Ken isn't immune to all sensation. Even if he doesn't suffer from cold, maybe the cup can warm his heart.

He draws up his knees, listening quietly.

[vessel_ken_amada]

He sighs.

"What I really need right now is to go home."

And by 'home', it's clear he doesn't mean the house he's living in here.

[fogboundcrow]

"Oh." Raven slides just a little closer. "Did something come up?"

[minipancake]

Yeah, that doesn't sound good. It's never good when Ken starts talking about going home again. A lying on the floor crying for two hours sort of not good.

[vessel_ken_amada]

"He knew!" he shouted. "Crow-san knew this whole time... and he never told me anything! I've been here for over half a year!"

He tries to calm himself down, to not shout at the three gathered here just to help him.

"But now I know who murdered my mother," he adds in a quiet voice.

[fogboundcrow]

Raven winces. That's...

He cautiously pulls an arm around Ken, just to show that he's here.

"Perhaps he didn't know how to bring it up. I'm sure he didn't intentionally hurt you." He pauses. "But that doesn't mean you've no right to be upset. Your feelings matter."

[minipancake]

Shit. That's big. Wagtail comes closer, sliding an arm around Ken from his other side. We're here. "What are you going to do about it?"

Mixed feelings wobble inside him. He saved my life, he remembers Ken back home saying. I couldn't do anything.

[vessel_ken_amada]

Ken starts shaking again, but the support from the other two helps, so it doesn't get too bad.

"Right now?" He gives a sour laugh. "Nothing. What can I do? I'm still trapped here."

[fogboundcrow]

"But you have us, and you have time to... process, I suppose. Crow may have more information, even if he did keep it from you at first."

Raven blows a soft sigh, still holding Ken close. "He went to find you because he cares. He may have been... misguided, but he has all of our memories together, too."

[minipancake]

"Not to say you're wrong to be mad about it," adds Wagtail, perhaps unhelpfully. "It's your mother. You deserved to know. You should have known. But let's be honest, Crow was never going to tell you."

If he'd known, would he have told Ken? He thinks he would have, in the end. Not without the whole story, but he'd have told him. Maybe he hasn't learned as much as people say.

[vessel_ken_amada]

"I've had way too much time here already," he answers Raven, grumbling. "Let's be honest, Igor is never going to let me go."

He is a bit relieved that Wagtail seems to understand how hurtful this whole thing is.

[fogboundcrow]

"What makes you so sure?" It's important to let Ken speak. He deserves to get these thoughts out.

[minipancake]

Wagtail listens, still with a telltale crease between his eyebrows. Mothers are important.

[vessel_ken_amada]

Ken's voice trembles a little.

"It's been so long... I've been hurting so much... and he doesn't care."

[fogboundcrow]

"We care." Here... He'll wrap his other arm around Ken, giving him a proper hug. "Whatever you need to say, whatever you need to do... we're here for you."

[minipancake]

Yeah, this is no good. Wagtail's other arm goes tight around Ken, and he shuffles close. "Which he? Crow? Or...."

Or Igor, who pretty clearly cares about them in a dangerous way, if at all.

[vessel_ken_amada]

"Igor," he spits. "He's content keeping me trapped here. He doesn't care how long it is or how much I suffer. He just wants to control me."

[fogboundcrow]

"That isn't fair. You aren't some puppet..." It's important to state that. To express it. "But if I had to guess, he believes you needed connections, safety, and comfort and didn't consider how damaging bringing you here would be."

[minipancake]

"Or he wanted to keep you from making a mistake." Wagtail's arms are close and warm around Ken; he won't let go. "Not that he's got the right to just step in. To give us no choice. But...."

He sighs again, thinking of Ken back at the dorm; of the defeated way he'd talked sometimes. You were right to want to kill him, Wagtail had insisted. He deserved it, every bit. And Ken had just....

[vessel_ken_amada]

"You're right," he tells Wagtail. "He has no right to decide for us."

But it's what Raven says that hits a sore spot.

"That's exactly part of the problem! That's part of the torture he imposes on me! To show me all these things that are only possible in his controlled world and that I could never get in real life!"

[fogboundcrow]

"...But if you made connections here, then surely..."

He stops himself. No. That isn't fair. He doesn't understand enough about Ken's circumstances back home. It's not his place to judge.

"I wonder. If your home is so miserable, is there not some agreement you could make with Igor? You could ask him to send you back home with one of us. Someone you care about, to somewhere that's a blank slate."

It's a tall ask, he knows, but surely... Isn't it worth trying?