[EVENT] Memory Tapes

[vrdr_mods]

On the morning of November 21st, denizens in the Velvet Room will awake to a message on their phones or by their bedsides in an envelope. Perhaps even on their computer screens.

Greetings! If you've received this message, then you've been selected as a participant in a new activity to strengthen bonds within this community.

In order to facilitate connections with your fellow residents, we advise you to watch this video. Watch it and return the tape to its rightful owner. If you lacked the means to watch VHS tapes before, we have provided you with the necessary equipment.

Failure to do so may put your own memories at risk. Do not be selfish, lest you find yourself struggling to recall crucial moments of your life. You have no way of knowing which memories have been shared, so ask yourself if it is worth the risk to selfishly hoard another's secrets.

They will soon find a VHS tape, with a case that gives off a soft, blue glow to symbolize its importance. If they lack a TV or VCR, they will find one in their living space.

What they do is up to them, but they should heed the warning, if they value their own memories.


[For links to characters' memories, please see this post in the OOC comm. Have fun!]

Comments

[willowandoak]

Ren follows, leaning in and kissing Goro deeply, pressing the length of his body against Goro's and feeling his warmth. He can't stand thinking about Goro alone, so he doesn't. Instead he tries to make sure Goro knows that he's not alone, and never will be again.

Unless Ren dies after all, but never mind that.

[lakebrat]

He wraps one leg around Ren, drawing him close, kissing back, twisting his hands into that tangle of hair. Learning to have people, to hold them close in trust and care, has been one of the quiet wonders of his 18th year, and this feels like the culmination of it. There are those two tapes remaining to be watched, too. But, honestly, fuck them.

Unfortunately, the tape they left on the bed, the one of his mother, lands on the wood floor with a crack. Goro's head jerks up. "That fucking thing."

[willowandoak]

Ren drops his head onto Goro's shoulder in annoyance. "I can still shoot it. Drop it from a skyscraper, maybe."

He was having a nice time pretending the other two tapes didn't exist. But now the illusion is broken. Fuck.

[lakebrat]

Goro caresses the back of Ren's neck firmly, with the heel of his hand. "No. I want to keep it."

This is possibly a unique sentiment.

[willowandoak]

Ren looks at him inquisitively, not quite asking Why the hell do you want that? but offering to listen, if Goro wants to explain.

[lakebrat]

He rests his own head against Ren, in turn. He's not sure how to explain why it compels him. Like watching a fire, daring not to put your hand in. His hand tenses and stills, on the back of Ren's neck.

Then—he trusts. "I don't want to fear it."

[willowandoak]

...Ren sighs. "That's very Ace of you." As always happens when Goro acts like this, Ren feels that strange, uncomfortable mixture of admiration and contempt, affection and profound smallness. But he's used to it by now, and there are worse things to feel for someone than admiration and love. "Should we put your name on it? So we can keep track of it?"

[lakebrat]

Very Ace of you. He couldn't explain why that makes his heart fill up, either, Ren's strange blend of warmth and skittishness. Unless it's because that part of him feels so neglected by now. He plants a kiss on Ren's forehead, between his eyes.

"No," he murmurs. "Just keep it separate, and in the end it will be the only one unmarked. Actually—"

With a sigh, he pulls away, picking the tape off the floor with an extended arm and rolling over to the foot of the bed, to place it on the desk, flopping back down besides Ren with a sigh. "There. I imagine plenty of the others are having just as bad a morning."

Falcon, for one. That fucking tape.

[willowandoak]

"Drop Igor from a skyscraper instead," he mutters, watching Goro. "Do you wanna get the others out of the way? Maybe they're like Lotus's. Nice and easy."

Does he really think that? No. But they could be, in theory.

[lakebrat]

He meets Ren's eye. No, if one of those tapes belongs to him, Goro doesn't think that at all. "It's your call."

[willowandoak]

He doesn't want to watch them at all. But he wants to sit here thinking about them even less. With a displeased grunt, he rolls off the bed and ejects Lotus's tape, scribbling his name on the sleeve and dropping it next to the others. Then he grabs one of the other tapes and sticks it in the VCR, quickly and decisively. It's not like it's hard. He's done worse than put a fucking tape in a fucking player.

...But as he sits down, the memory begins to play, and all his bravado deserts him. He makes a quiet, distressed noise low in his throat, drawing back away from the TV.

[lakebrat]

"Hey." Just as they did before, Goro moves to his side, getting up to shut off the video and take his hand, sitting close. "You're safe. He's not here."

I'm in with them. Those words already burn in his memory. And now the dead look in video-Ren's eyes is graven alongside them.

[willowandoak]

"What's the point?" His voice is strained and quiet. He turns his face away so he doesn't have to look at Goro, but at the same time, he clings to his hand. "You already heard me say all this, so why—"

Fuck, that call was bad enough the first time, when he was by himself. He doesn't know if he can sit through video of himself planning Goro's murder with Goro sitting right next to him.

[lakebrat]

Goro's knuckles turn white for a moment, as he considers and calculates; as, in truth, he pulls together a decision he made half an hour ago. "We don't have to watch it. Like you say, this is stupid. We already know what you said."

Of course, they don't know what Shido said, the second half of the conversation. That would be useful to know. And Goro has lost little of his fascination with his father. But, in the end, it's unnecessary.

He knows Ren didn't offer the same.

[willowandoak]

"Don't do that. Of course we have to fucking watch it."

The ugly truth is that this is video footage of him planning Goro's murder. It would be beyond fucked up to ask Goro to sacrifice his memories to protect Ren from unforeseen consequences of the plot to murder him. No matter how much Ren feels like he's going to throw up, or step outside his own body, or scream.

[lakebrat]

Goro squeezes his hand. "You don't have to watch it," he quietly reminds Ren. "Only I do. There's no way you got a tape for yourself."

But he knows Ren. He won't walk away, any more than Goro did. They're in this for the long haul.

[willowandoak]

"I'm not running away from my own damn memory," he snaps. The next second, guilt crashes down on him like a wave. "...Sorry."

[lakebrat]

But after a moment's silence, Goro squeezes Ren's hand again. "It's okay," he murmurs quietly, face darkening as he continues. "This is Igor's fault, not yours. I'd demand answers, if I thought he'd give them."

He glances to the blue screen, bathing them both in its cold light.

[willowandoak]

The silent seconds before Goro responds are awful. Ren barely manages not to cringe. The forgiveness helps a little, but he still kind of wishes he was dead. It's not like he's going to bring it up, though. "Someday I'll figure out how to make him bleed," he says instead, grimly, as he lets go of Goro's hand for long enough to head over to the VCR and push play.

Shido's voice greets them again, and this time he doesn't win the battle: As he sits down, he cringes, curling in on himself a bit like he expects a physical blow. His gaze flickers back and forth between the TV and literally anywhere else except Goro.

[lakebrat]

And Goro places himself not beside Ren, on the bed, but behind him. His arms go around him, and his legs, and he presses his whole body against Ren's cringing back. He wraps himself around Ren like a blanket, like he did back when Ren had his Palace, and still does now just because they can. And they watch the tape together.

I thought you'd learned better than this, Amamiya. The words fill him with a sullen rage. Talk about making someone bleed. Goro has the aim, now, to put a bullet right in Shido's eye. As for the next stage....

That's what he is, to the man who spawned him. The next stage. A target for his own amusement. A bauble for the press. And he can hear the silent plea beneath Ren's terror, as he babbles out that panicked reply. Please don't hurt him.

No matter what happens now, and after this, Ren will never be alone again. He swears it. He rocks Ren gently in his arms, ever so gently, just enough to not be insulting.

But he can't find words. Not a terrible idea. "Piece of shit," he murmurs, voice thinner than he means it to be.

[willowandoak]

Ren can't reply. His throat is tight, and even if it wasn't, what could he say? He can barely even think around all of his shame.

He doesn't know if he can ever look Goro in the eyes again. He doesn't know how Goro can stand to touch him. Shido's voice rings in his ears. He's trembling, he realizes dimly, but he can't bring himself to care.

[lakebrat]

The two of them continue to rock together. Goro rests his head against the back of Ren's neck. He strokes the front of Ren's shoulders with his crossed hands, and he hates. Dimly, wrapped up in his own history and that of others now, he hates.

Eventually, he murmurs something that may not be what Ren expects. "You tried to save me. As best you could, I mean."

[willowandoak]

A choked laugh tears free of Ren's throat. "You're crazy."

[lakebrat]

"Hey. Don't give me that shit." It's hollow, but gentle all the same. He stretches his arms and legs around Ren, drawing himself closer.

"You were afraid of what he might do, if you hesitated. If you didn't give him what he wanted." Like the picture in the Palace. The one Ren can't remember; the one Goro didn't see. Only its effects.

mild self-harm

[willowandoak]

"That's not... I could've, if only I hadn't been so..." He digs his fingernails into his forearms, frustrated. "How the fuck did you go from trying to kill you faster to trying to save you?"