A little game to play [OPEN] [NETWORK]

[angel_of_mercy]

 This is something the Futaba of my world came up with, before I became an Angel; Look up the word 'Florida Man' plus the date of your birthday, and see what comes up.

I've given to learn that 'Florida Man' became a subject of fascination for many Children of God, on account of the...rather chaotic reasons they get arrested. Gogo's Birthday is June 2nd, like most Akechis, but for me, the date of my ascension is a birth date all it's own. So, if I were to have a birthday, it'd be Christmas Eve. The day Yaldabaoth changed me forever...

One of the first things that came up for this was a man being arrested for crashing his car. Sounds completely ordinary, right? Seems like they found him on a construction site, making angel shapes in the dirt.

...This feels like an intentional joke on me by the Universe...

Comments

[externalcombustion]

"Florida Man Used Toilet Paper To Start Fires In The Bathroom Of A Sports Store, Sticks Around While Police Investigate; Gets Arrested"

...wow. You *never* stay at the scene of a fire! Not that obviously!

[angel_of_mercy]

Fate has a sense of humour, it seems~

[externalcombustion]

I guess so. But I don't mind being called out as a firebug.

[willowandoak]

"a Florida man tried to cross the ocean in a hamster wheel."

king shit

[lakebrat]

You would, too.

And it would be a real ocean, not something piddly like the Atlantic.

[willowandoak]

this is def a compliment so thx!!

[lakebrat]

My confidence is well placed.

How far did he get, anyway?

[angel_of_mercy]

I wonder if something is in the water for these Children of God...

[willowandoak]

maybe
maybe thats why he didnt take a real boat. closer to the poisoned water

[ Does she always call people that? Fuck. ]

[angel_of_mercy]

Quite a glib response, if I do say so myself. I appreciate it, however.

That said, I don't think we've been introduced. Who are you?

[externalcombustion]

People in other US states are just as weird (source: lived in New York until I was 9). Florida's just the one that makes the police blotter public record more or less immediately.

[vampirethief]

"Florida Man in Banana Costume Arrested For Whipping Out His 'Banana'."

Clearly the writer had a field day coming up with the title for the news article.

[Kaitou knows very well what they mean by 'his banana'.]

[angel_of_mercy]

Do you think he did it just for the jest of it all???

[vampirethief]

The article said he was peeing out on the sidewalk.

Like I get needing to go, but there's public restrooms if you need to go pee badly. I imagine it wouldn't be the first for people in costumes to go to those on Halloween night.

[shakenit]

"Florida man steals alligator from golf course, tries ‘teaching it a lesson’ by throwing it on roof of bar"

...Are these people okay?

[angel_of_mercy]

Clearly, Chaos reigns there.

[shakenit]

Clearly. I'm not sure how he stole an entire alligator without being bitten for his trouble.

[aknightnotaprincess]

"Shirtless Florida man accused of breaking into restaurant to steal lava cake, cobbler & ice cream"

I know some people have huge sweet tooths, but c'mon. There's far better ways to get sweets than break into a closed restaurant.

[angel_of_mercy]

They do sound good, you have to admit...

[aknightnotaprincess]

Yeah, but most stores do sell most of those. Or you could just make your own lava cake or cobbler.

I'm not big on sweets myself honestly, so I'm suppose I don't get it.

not here

[externalcombustion]

[rookandhound]

Florida man accused of killing iguana uses ‘stand your ground’ defense to try to get charge dropped

this is about the gun thing isnt it

[angel_of_mercy]

Such a beast would not even pose a threat to a human child. But yes, this is most likely about the 'gun' thing...

[rookandhound]

i've met some pretty vicious lizards actually

but then again guns would just make them mad

[paradisefraught]

May 23...'Florida man uses alligator’s mouth to open a beer bottle.' That's something else! Haha!